Wednesday, March 7, 2012

But know that vengeance shall be mine. ...Oh, how it will be mine!

I shall begin with a brief disclaimer: I am about to talk about things that may make some people uncomfortable. 
If you don't like or agree with what I'm saying, feck off. 


No cartoons today. I'm too angry to make them funny. 



I have been in a bad mood. To be more precise, an ANGRY sort of bad mood.

Lemme back up.

I had a stash of vitamins* (yes, I know, leave me alone) that should have lasted me quite a long time. And then new vitamin*-friend called me one night last week and asked could she please *borrow* a few because she had run out and her supplier wasn't due to refill her stash until the weekend, and she was about to start withdrawing. Because I am a nice bloody person complete moron, I said ok, and gave her several of them (less than she had asked for, but still quite a few). She swore she would get them back to me by the weekend.

Guess what.

She didn't. 

ok maybe some hastily drawn piccatures of how angry I am...

It's been two weeks since she took them. I know she was having some personal issues and I was prepared to be lenient....

BUT THEN: Last Saturday, vitamin*-friend nemesis says she has half of the thingies she owes me. I said I couldn't come get them that night because I was already out, but if she was willing to throw them in my mailbox (like old vitamin*-muffin used to :*O), I would throw her a few bucks for gas. She said cool--no problem.

Later I get a text that she had to do some family thing, so she gave my thingies to her best friend to drop off. Then around midnight, she texts again and says that Friend said the drop-off was done.

I go check my mailbox: No money. No thingies.

I don't get angry very often. Anyone who knows me well will tell you that you would need to perform some truly epic feats of douchebaggery to get me angry or offended. Some of us are just like that.

The problem with people like me is that when someone manages to push me into actual ANGER, the reaction is like 100x what it would be in a normal person. A normal person gets angry and talks smack about you behind your back until they eventually get over it. Me? I get angry and I will RUIN YOUR F**KING LIFE.

Of course the friend says she totally dropped the stuff off. And now vitamin*-nemesis has gone from "I swear I'll talk to her" to avoiding my calls and texts. And she still owes me the rest of my thingies back.

I cannot even begin to put my rage into words. Paul#2 (we're speaking again, against my better judgment....) says I should break both of their legs and then run over their dogs and burn their houses down, and I must admit I find that course of action incredibly appealing. I still don't know who the friend is, though. I have my suspicions, and once they are confirmed SUCH VENGEANCE SHALL I RAIN DOWN UPON HER YOU WON'T BELIEVE IT.

When it comes to Serious Vengeance, I have no morals. None.

I may or may not keep all y'all updated on this, depending on how illegal it gets.....

26 comments:

  1. You're my hero, like officially.

    ....just try not to run over any doggies. It's not their fault their masters are twats. ;)

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  2. Wreak fucking havoc. BITCH, GET OUT THE WAY. Please keep us updated, this is actually quite an interesting read.

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  3. that collage of evils is yummy :D*

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  4. Sorry to hear your vitamins have gone missing Mich, here's hoping you get them back! Keep us updated if you can. I also can't believe you know where Sligo is, it's incredibly awesome isn't it?

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  5. Keep ringing her til she answers! And leave lots of "calm" voicemails, or if you know where she lives go round her house? She's a stupid mean arse for not giving your vitamins back >=[ xx

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  6. I'm entirely too fascinated not to know how this ends...

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  7. I think she's going to burn in hell and I think you're going to be the one to send her there!! Please don't go to jail though, the clothes are horrible and we'd miss you.

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  8. Ooooh, then I shouldn't mention your picture shows you with spindly arms?

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  9. Good luck, and where are all the baddass women...all i see in the picture are men.

    Sam

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  10. Some shady shit going on. I hope you get your stuff.

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  11. No judgement, as long as the mug proceeds go to kitty and not more vitamins*... Coffee of Mordor mug is on it's way to me, and I'm irrationally excited about it :D I sent you an e-mail at masterandcommander.

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  12. I only recognise two of those guys, I feel like a hillbilly!

    Best of luck with getting your stuff/revenge/revenge and stuff.

    I got your package of St.Paddy's goodies today! Thank you so much, you have the BEST timing ever!

    Something random: I had a dream with you in it the other night. For some reason you'd hired out Forsyth Barr Stadium for a birthday party and invited all your family and blog mates. I hung out with one of your Nanas (Who was totally awesome!) and ate weird Irish foods and had a blast.
    Lol, it was probably the result of too much lemsip and seeing the canned haggis on the British Imports Aisle End Display. (Even though haggis isn't Irish)

    Take care, and don't do anything I wouldn't enjoy ;)

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  13. If there's one thing I've learned from my 25 years on this Earth, it's that anything can be solved by a good fire.

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  14. OMFG!!! I hope new supplier girl's tits rot off for stiffing you like that. I hope her bestie's rot off, too!

    I'm with you, we don't just get mad, we get even as well! Oh, it's game on! Open that can, girl! :) ♥

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  15. Dont do anything illegal, unless you're sure you will get away with it of course.

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  16. Go get your vengeance on! Bitch deserves to know that it's not okay to deal with people like that.

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  17. I fucking hate liars and your word is your fucking word, why do people not get this, enough said....

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  18. Sounds like you mean business. Like, scorched earth and blood rain. I totally get that, my anger is limitless too. That would piss me the fuck off if I was in your situation. Show those fuckers that they messed with the wrong chick. But... yeah, don't get yourself in *too* much trouble.

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  19. This is why I'd rather eat green vegetables than try to keep track of *vitamins.

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  20. I've been fairly angry myself lately. Been taking a lot of unnecessary crap from other people.

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  21. Oh, Mitch, I <3 you. I'm so sorry shit went down like that. People can truly be asses. I hope you get your vitamins* and your revenge. I know I shouldn't be condoning it but, meh, whatever. You go get yours, girl! Stay lovely, boo! <3

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  22. I'm all for vengeance, when it makes for good reading. Please update us ESPECIALLY if it's illegal and extremely painful :-)

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  23. sorry for your loss, that's a terrible thing, but don't go overboard over small stuff.

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  24. yay Gus is my fav!!!!! I think you should go Big Lebowksi-style on those bitches and smash their cars up while screaming THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU FUCK A STRANGER IN THE ASS!!!! xD And then you have to put it on youtube.

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  25. i am super pissed off at this person for you...want me to go get a gun and...oh, wait, i can't get a gun. Dammit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  26. I'd go with Adebisi! Cut off there head, anally rape them in a prison lunchroom, make them dance as your slave, give them aids, and then turn over in your bunk and look at them and say, "No, 'cause sometimes it's good to be human."

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We say whatever we want to whomever we want, at all times.