Tuesday, August 16, 2016

I'm Going to Complain Now, Episode 77


 A couple people have inquired as to my well-being, so I figured I’d check in…

No news, I’m afraid. We went camping again last weekend. It kind of sucked, as it was 1,000 degrees out and then we got hit with a monster thunderstorm the second night. At least this time we were all in the camper.

It’s still 1,000 degrees. Praise the Lord, the summer is nearly over. I need to move somewhere with a nicer climate. Every day the weather is disgusting and hot, I check in on the weather in my dream location.

or 7 degrees C

It seems they are finally coming out of their three months without sunsets.

I’m counting the days until both Lil Bros come home at the end of August (even though Lil Bro#1 is only home for 2 weeks before leaving for grad school in Georgia >:O )

We plan on finally recording some songs together. Last weekend, Lil Bro#1 opined that “We could probably do some Tool songs, a couple of them don’t sound that hard,” to which Lil Bro#2 replied, “Astrophysics doesn’t seem all that hard, we could totally build our own quadjumper no problem.”**

We'll probably be covering a couple murder ballads, only tweaking the lyrics so the woman is telling the tale of killing her unfaithful husband. Because I am sick and tired of all these murder ballads about dudes killing their unfaithful wives.


You know what really tees me the eff off? The fact that I have to do this whenever someone is covering for me at the office:


It never ceases to blow my mind just how many people are

sooooooo

feckinnnggggggg

STUPID.


I swear, every encounter with these people shortens my lifespan a little bit. Like the people who can’t figure out how to sign their names on the line above their name, where the sticker says “sign here.”

That’s why we go through a lot of these stickers:


One time, I had to make an MS Paint picture of this lady's legal documents, with color-coded circles and arrows just to explain to her how to sign her name on the signature line, and get her signature notarized.





And I sh*t you not guys

SHE SIGNED THE MS PAINT PICTURES AND DIDN'T GET ANYTHING NOTARIZED.

This woman is the principal of a school. Like she is left in charge of running an entire school and she can’t even figure out how to sign her name on a signature line.


 Ugh.


























**There will be no forthcoming Tool covers, because Lil Bro#2 only has one pair of arms for drumming, and I would need at least 1 extra bass player to mimic Tool’s sound because no one plays the bass like that.




22 comments:

  1. People... You'd think some things are obvious, but apparently not.

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  2. 1) I also have trouble signing things, so I am totally laughing at myself right now. BUT, most of the times I have trouble I also have a raging migraine. So, there's that.

    2) I can't imagine not signing the actual document. Or getting the actual document notarized. It's amazing that some people continue to breathe. If it wasn't an automatic thing you know they'd just die because one day they'd forget how. Even though they knew yesterday. Whatever.

    3) Since it's unlikely Lil Bro #2 will sprout another set of arms, I recommend you find an extra drummer. Don't give up on those Tool songs just yet. You never know...

    4) Thanks for the chuckles... :)

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  3. People will always find new ways to screw up simple tasks.

    Always.

    Nick Cave has the best murder ballads. A whole album's worth of them. Called "Murder Ballads."

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  4. Replies
    1. I love you Mich. I know that doesn't make much difference......but I am a stupid person too..........note is seriously on the way, if I can get out of bed!

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  5. OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG OMG !
    It is our monsoons right now and for two months the TV stations have had programs about what or what not to do. But the very smart people always think they can get through the flooded streets and drive around the "do not drive thru" signs when the underpasses are full of water... 26 swift water rescues the 4 underpass pull out just one day.
    Yeah stupid is stupid.

    cheers, parsnip and thehamish

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  6. We've just got into fall here in my part of Sweden and it is wonderful. No more sweltering days, just cool, fresh weather (I'm ignoring the fact that it's been a day full of storm gusts).

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  7. "We'll probably be covering a couple murder ballads, only tweaking the lyrics so the woman is telling the tale of killing her unfaithful husband. Because I am sick and tired of all these murder ballads about dudes killing their unfaithful wives." I think there's a few of these in country music? Not certain though.

    You actually have 'idiot' stickers? Oh man I need those. But you probably need them a lot more than I. WHY CANT THE WOMAN SIGN HER NAME WHERE IT SAYS TO SIGN HER NAME????


    This summer has been brutally hot. Then again, all the seasons have been brutal in some form or another. Is Longyearbeen on another planet? In another galaxy? Or is it in the Norwegian fjords? I bet your Viking heritage is somehow linked to that dream location.

    Tool is an insanely complicated band. Your banter on this was spot-on.

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  8. Oh god. The stupidity of some people never ceases to amaze.

    I can't wait for summer, or at least spring. I'm so over these freezing cold mornings!

    xxxx

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  9. Ity would have been hard to believe that woman and her "failure to sign"... until you mentioned her profession. I would have guessed tenured college professor, but that's close.

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  10. People are stupid until proven otherwise:) I have to get people sign this every day...I place an X where they are to sign, highlight the area in yellow and even place an arrow and I still have people sign where I am supposed to sign. Thank for stopping over at my blog and if you would like a card or more, let me know

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  11. I hear you on the stupidity front. Not nearly enough money or research time is dedicated to finding a cure. For stupidity or for jerkdom.
    Bleah on the heat front. We are just emerging from winter and I am dreading the sweaty season. I hope you get some relief soon.

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  12. I'm one of those crazy people who actually likes the heat; it's the cold that paralyzes me. There's a cool song you might like called How Come That Blood (I think that's the name tho it may only be the refrain) about a man who kills his brother by Sam Amidon.

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  13. LOL
    I'll piss people off by reading everything before signing. Ever since I signed "papers giving doctor approval to give me stitches" and later learned I signed papers giving doctors approval to contact my psych doc and admit me into the psych ward. -_- Wish I messed up signing like that principal. It takes skill messing that up.
    LOL your bro has only one pair of arms to drum (I feel him on that), and the bass. The only bass players I personally know do it on the side. Learned it after learning another string instrument.

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  14. "People. What a bunch of bastards" really sums up people quite well to me. Although I must admit that is new levels of stupidity. That's a level of stupidity where I'm not even sure how their brains are functioning. I hope you and the little bros do get to record some music. If I can make an EP with a friend in Spain over emails you can make some music with your brothers.

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  15. OOH OOH CAN YOU BRING AN INSTRUMENT AND WE'LL RECORD SONGS ABOUT MURDERING OUR UNFAITHFUL HUSBANDS WHILE YOURE HERE? Sorry, I don't play anything :x

    It is a mere TEN WEEKS until international shenanigans, and we will shorten your lifespan in much more fun ways.

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  16. I'm going to complain about this GD heat.
    Until I complain about the GD cold and snow.
    I'm never happy, apparently.

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  17. I'm going to complain about this GD heat.
    Until I complain about the GD cold and snow.
    I'm never happy, apparently.

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  18. 46C equals fire-y, burning hot ball of land. That suuuuuucks for you. -wish you were here in 10 degree-land. :)

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    1. i think a monster think a monster thunderstorm in the camper must have been fun....was it? love tracy

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  19. I love your angry 'how your brain so small?' drawing. That should be a rage meme.

    And I guess I haven't heard enough murder ballads, because I didn't know guys singing about killing their wives was a thing. I'm not down with that, but I am down with singing about murdering people who sign MSPaint documents thinking those are legal documents.

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  20. oh, i thought that was 46 degrees C and i'm like "aye, i can believe you." then i read the mini caption. 7 degrees Celsius? are you insane?

    i love the way you talk. God, i absolutely adore it.

    oh God, i laughed at the signature one. i had to. and then i was guffawing when i got to "SHE SIGNED THE MS PAINT PICTURES AND DIDN'T GET ANYTHING NOTARIZED."

    that 'how is your brain so small' drawing is brill. ugh *sighs*

    i love you. i hope you're doing well xxx (i'll read your next post soon)!



    -Sam Lupin

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We say whatever we want to whomever we want, at all times.