Sunday, September 13, 2015

I would never lie. I willfully participated in a campaign of misinformation.

This is sort of a a re-run from a few years ago, but since my stupidity repeats itself over and over again, I suppose so can a blog post.

I do not smoke certain substances because the side effects outweigh any pleasantness that might be gained from smoking them. Normally I don't go in for conspiracy theories and all of that nonsense, BUT get me stoned, and it's a whole different story.

I have blocked up windows. I have searched entire houses for listening devices and cameras. 

This one time, years ago, I came home stoned and panicked when I found Lil Sis video-chatting on the computer. She left the webcam turned on even when she wasn't using the computer, and I disagreed with this because the government is watching us through our idle web cam, and listening to everything we say.

So naturally I yanked the web cam out of the computer and ran off with it. Lil Sis says I "hid it" somewhere so the government couldn't see anything. We never found it.

But this paranoia pales in comparison to my paranoia of aliens. 

Because I am an intelligent person who learns from past experiences, yesterday I decided to say yes when a friend offered me a puff of a smokey treat

and then

we proceeded to watch Dark Skies,

which is about really terrifying aliens. 

Guess who alternated between nightmares and laying awake absolutely petrified last night?




This one time in college when we decided to hot-box the bunk beds in my friend's dorm room--we had run out of our own stuff, so Friend called his roommate and asked if we could have some of his. Sure, Roommate said, it's in the top drawer.

Roommate calls back 10 minutes later and says OH MY GOD, please tell me you took some of the stuff in the bag on the LEFT side of the drawer...

We had already smoked out of the bag on the right.

The last thing I remember is getting incredibly distraught over the fact that Friend had three televisions in his living room, so he could watch tv, watch a dvd, and play video games all at the same time.

Friend said that he went to the bathroom and when he came back, I was gone. My roommate said she found me passed out in the closet of our bedroom with my blankets and pillows in there with me.

This, my friends, is why no one should do angel dust. Ever.


  1. I love your drawings!

    Hey, I get freaked out by aliens and alien conspiracies when sober. The idea just makes me shudder. ::shudder::

  2. I know all about this...I'm watching.

  3. But Mich you are tiny and unafraid.;........make that Tiny again.....I soooooooooooooo wish I were you!

  4. Ah, tis good to be back in the world of Mich, for I have been finally released by the evil that is T-MOBILE'S CONTENT LOCK!

    Last time I did that shit, Satan was sitting on my back, whilst a man in a Fedora hat sat in the corner and watched. Not quite sure what that was all about.

  5. "yesterday I decided to say yes when a friend offered me a puff of a smokey treat" Miiiiiiiiiich

    "This, my friends, is why no one should do angel dust. Ever." this post should be advertised.

    i barely know what this post is about. i special.

    -Sam Lupin

    1. I SPECIAL! !!!!!!!!!

      I'm so using that from here on in Sam

      Xoxoxo thanks for the lols

  6. Honestly three TVs probably is a little much. Two I could understand. I use both my laptop and my Xbox all the time. But three? There's no need for that. Never forget that being paranoid does not, in fact, mean people are not out to get you.

  7. I don't remember ever getting paranoid... HEY! That must be my secret! Get paranoid... just don't remember it.

    By the way, I found a webcam in my lunchbox the other day...

  8. Except...the government really is spying on us.

  9. I want someone to spy on me, it would add a little excitment to life.

    / Avy

  10. My boyfriend has taped over the camera on every. single. thing. And he's sober. I don't want to see him high, he'd probably make tin foil hats for everyone including the cats.

  11. I did that twice. Once by accident, cuz I swiped my parents stash. I just remember laying on the bathroom floor with the top of my head on fire.
    the second time it was on purpose and it was NUTS and then I had nightmares for months afterward. WHY IN THE HELL would anyone do that more than one time. Ya, curious, ONCE, DONE.

    I saw an episode and Intervention where the lady smoked it constantly. It was so gross. The worst


We say whatever we want to whomever we want, at all times.