Thursday, July 3, 2014

So you're going to a cemetery with your toothbrush... How Egyptian.

I'm having a rough time y'all.

So after the mold was removed and I had [mostly] recovered*, I returned to my hobbit hole last Tuesday evening, absolutely over the moon to finally be home.

And then I noticed there were more than a few spiders and millipedes wandering around.

I killed the millipedes and ignored the spiders. I figure that living in a hobbit hole as I do, I simply get more than the average number of bugs. Plus the place had been vacant for over a week--I had to deal with the same thing when I first moved in. I presumed that just like then, the bugs would feck off after a couple days when they realized someone had moved back into the house.

On Wednesday evening, I discovered a number of dead fleas on the kitchen counter, in the spot where Harleyquinn sleeps**.



I somehow managed to keep myself from flying into a blind panic. I had not found any live fleas, only dead ones. I had never noticed fleas before. Idk how long the cats had fleas. I had put the Revolution flea stuff on them on Monday night, and I guess I was finding dead fleas because Revolution actually works and apparently the Hartz crap you can get at the supermarket does not.

So I doused my home in flea-killing stuff and did some seriously intense cleaning, and have not seen fleas since.

But the millipedes seemed to have increased in number.

In general I am not squeamish with bugs, but there are a couple of exceptions. Millipedes fall into the exception category.

Over the weekend, I Raided the outside of the house, and inside in the spots where I assumed they were finding their way in.

Even more millipedes started wandering about the place.

Monday, I put down poison stuff in all the doorways and windows and pretty much every single possible place I could think of that might be a potential entrance spot.

Tuesday night, I realized that pretty much every single moment spent in my home over the last 7 days had been spent flying around the house swearing up a storm and going through hundreds of napkins and tissues and paper towels destroying every millipede I saw and I SWEAR THEY'RE LIKE THE FUCKING HYDRA YOU KILL ONE AND THREE MORE APPEAR.

Then yesterday morning at approximately 4.30 AM, I went out to the bathroom.




I spent like 15 minutes killing all of them. After that I threw up for the next 5 minutes because I was actually that disgusted. I attempted to go back to bed since I didn't have to get up for another 3 hours, but every time I closed my eyes, my head was filled with visions of tons and tons and tons of millipedes, which just made me terrified that they would reach the bedroom and eventually the bed, which made me feel nauseous again.

At 5.30 I gave up on sleep and got up, fed the cats, and could not eat breakfast because of course the kitchen was full of mothereffing millipedes and I felt double-sick.

So I got dressed, packed up my belongings again, got the kitties into their cage, and am back at my mother's house. AGAIN.

I called the landlord to tell them. They tried to tell me this is *normal* for this time of year, but they would check it out. Today they called to inform me that they allegedly did not see any bugs at all in my hobbit hole.


I feel like it has been one thing after another since I moved into the hobbit hole. But I love my hobbit hole. Like seriously I LOVE it. I can't afford to move into another apartment. I can't move in with Dadum (for more reasons than I feel like listing). I really really really really really really really don't want to move back to NJ (especially after the epic hassle I went through tochange my car, license, insurance, etc over to NY).

But after some complaining and some thinking, I feel like maybe it would be a good idea to move back in with Mumsy. Right now I'm really struggling to keep up with expenses, and to be honest, it's a fight I'm losing. And if I continue living in this way, I will never do anything else with my life. If I move back in with Mum, I can actually start saving money, and perhaps pursue all the things I would really like to pursue--mainly going back to school, and moving out to Colorado.

I'm not happy about moving back to NJ, but I think I'm okay with it. We shall see how things go..........

*As recovered as I was going to get because seriously I love my mother dearly, but there is a reason I moved an hour away from her.

**Not only have I given up trying to keep the cats off the counter, I have now placed a bed in HQ's fav sleeping spot.


  1. Eeek the millipede situation sounds horrible, they are some of the grossest bugs. And isn't that always the situation when get someone else to come look nothing is there for them to see --- always happens to me. Anyway hope it all turns out for the best.
    Take Care
    Invisible Ninja

  2. Ack!!! I hadn't encountered a house millipede/centipede/agent of darkness prior to moving to Pennsylvania when I was in my early 20s. I DON'T like spiders, but imagine my horror when I turned on the lights and these demons with a billion legs were covering the walls. I had no idea what they were, other than horrible. I completely empathize with you, and fully back your methods of killing them as you described in your linked 2010 post. Shivers.

  3. I pulled off a paper towel this morning to find an earwig living there. Reminded me of Star Trek.

  4. wait, cemeteries and toothbrushes?
    i'm sad you're having a rough time. :( aw.
    oh man i'm not sleeping tonight am i
    i don't know how a millipede looks like. i refuse to Google it. i know it will look horrible with 1000 legs or something. dammit, Mich, i am writing this comment for you and reading this post and i am PETRIFIED OF INSECTS.
    "I SWEAR THEY'RE LIKE THE FUCKING HYDRA YOU KILL ONE AND THREE MORE APPEAR." oh my god i am so sorry i would require 10 years therapy for this
    "Today they called to inform me that they allegedly did not see any bugs at all in my hobbit hole." punch them in their fucking dicks.
    you are stronger than i.

    -Sam Lupin

  5. Ay yi yi, I definitely share your feelings about millipedes. *Shudder* Although, if I ever saw multiple spiders in my house, I would promptly burn it down. No second thoughts. I hope you don't have any more problems with your hobbit hole, it sounds like a nice place!
    <3 Lee

  6. So the landlord didn't tell you that you were renting out the millipede convention centre? That was rather rude of him.

  7. Hey Mich, So very sorry about the invasion, so horrible, I cannot imagine it...yuck! I hope by now you have worked things out and have a plan.....I look forward to hearing about it. Just know I love you an care so very, very much about you! <3

  8. Miss you, Sweeetie Pie, hope the nasty millipides didn't get you!

    Love You!


We say whatever we want to whomever we want, at all times.