Wednesday, October 24, 2012

a plague on all your houses

 I feel like I shouldn't be posting because I'm off my face on cold medicine and I know I'm about to start rambling...

 Don't do drugs, kids. Specifically, don't do drugs that go up your nose. Forget the loss of brain cells, financial ruin and general ruination of your life, forget the strain on your loved ones, forget the possibility of overdose--the serious lasting effect of putting scheisse up your nose is the constant congestion. CONSTANT. Like imagine having a cold for the rest of your life. 

 AND THEN when you actually do get a cold, it feels like there's a raging forest fire in your sinuses. And nothing helps. Humidifier, Lemsip, Sudafed, Nyquil, Vicks--just throw them away because they're not going to bring you any comfort. Except the Sudafed, because if you take enough of it, you'll be so loopy you won't care that your sinuses are on fire.

 (I have a cold, if you haven't guessed that already.)

 I got a random text the other day from a guy I haven't spoken to in many many months. There was a time we were almost sort of maybe dating, but 'twas extremely brief and we haven't spoken since. 

 Then he sends me a text Saturday night asking if I was in his town, because he claims saw someone who kind of looked like me and had the same car that I do.

 I said no, I was in Maine. So he asked what the heck was I doing all the way up in Maine. I said we were generally eating, drinking, and being merry. He asked what sorts of merriment we were up to. I mentioned lots of lobster, and trying to get into the Shipyard Brewery for a tour, but then complained that all the tours were full up already. 

 The boy then suggested I use my womanly wiles to get us into the tour. Because I'm beautiful and have a fantastic body. 

 Ummmm...... what?

 I feel like this was a drunken bootycall. (Or bootytext, I guess...) Bootycalls make me feel cheap, so this kind of pisses me off, especially because he and I were never intimate in any shape or form, so there's no reason for him to think I would come running because he complimented my shapely physique. 

Am I overthinking this? Idk. My brain's fuzzy.


 Maine was awesome btw. I took one photograph.
view of the wharf outside a shop window
We ate lots of seafood. We also found these ridiculous Christmas ornaments and had a 20 minute laughing fit over them:

There are tons of them. I want them all. 


13 comments:

  1. I'm glad you had a good time. You needed a vacation hardcore. The text could have been a bootycall, or maybe not. Maybe he was just looking for an excuse to talk to you again?

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  2. Your night sounds incredible and seafood is awesome so with seafood there it couldn't have went badly! As for the guy Pogo could be right, maybe he's been wanting to talk to you again although spouting off about your body might be a sihn he was drunk, I bet he misses you just or something! Get well soon from that cold too, when I sniffed China White for a few months my nose would bother me a lot, five months later from the last time I took it and things have definitely calmed down a little though.

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  3. Your get away sounds awesome! Bummer being so sick though :(

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  4. Ahhh gay Mermen. They just make so much sense. I hope you feel better but you're funny high. Don't feel like you need to take a ton of drugs to be funny though. Even if you do. Which you don't of course. There's no telling what's going through someone's head when they think of trying to do a bootycall, well besides the obvious, but meh. You didn't go for it so well done you.

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  5. looks like you have a cold, i dont know, i'm just guessing thou. you should try cocaine, i heard i helps.

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  6. Those ornaments are hilarious!
    Azwww I hope you feel better soon. You're a cool & kind person.
    It. Could be a bootytext. Could also be his pathetic attempt at playful teasing. Still a bit sexist tho. Feel free to glare at him. Does he know about you weapon collection? And that you know how to use those weapons?
    Is it weirdd that I wish I could be at your place when the end of 2012 comes?

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  7. Love the Shakespeare reference.
    And, ah, gay mermen. Classic Christmas ornaments. Or you can use them to scare children on Halloween. ;3

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  8. What's up with those ornaments? :P Glad you had a good time! :) And its better to be off your face than completly sane ;D xxx

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  9. Note taken: Don't snort things. Not even wasabi on drunken bets. Timely advice, since I'm going to a halloween party in Studentville D:

    /facepalm. Why do guys always assume that we make ourselves look attractive for their benefit or to manipulate people? There will be a rant on this subject. In the meantime, he's on my list of people to kick in the balls for assuming you'd be up for a booty call with a classless twat.

    Omfg they are BRILLIANT! Dare I say it? That is a FABULOUS bunch of seamen! I want to buy one for every adult family member. And a dozen of the one in black for Bratlee as a joke. (the one who calls me Satan's Landlord/The Hell Cousin)

    Sending you lots of love and healthy vibes <3

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  10. I've never done drugs but even if i did I doubt I could shove any up my nose. Might be more of a needle guy. Or a 'too chicken shit to try anything, even weed' guy. Hope you're feeling better. Nasal congestion is a pain in the ass. My 4month old has had it on-and-off for weeks.

    Shrug off that bootycall, if it even was a bootycall. Guys say unexpected things sometimes. If he calls/texts you again then yeah, deal with it. Hopefully while you're not heavily medicated. Maine is the only New England state I have never set foot in, but that picture is almost exactly what i assumed it would look like. I'm assuming the lobster was fantastic, yes? That's probably the only reason I'd go there.

    Also, those ornaments are creepy, especially Mer-man Mercury.

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  11. Haha.. I loved the merman ornaments, seriously? :):):) Have fun darling, lots lots of fun. You deserve it :)

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  12. Sounds like a fun trip, even if those ornaments are horrific.

    And yes, that was a bootycall he was attempting. No doubt about it. Most guys who attempt the bootycall are not tactful enough to make it subtle.

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  13. Gay mermen? I'm sold! I need to fill my christmas tree with them!

    I hope you're able to buy them all and pose them with all your My Little Pony dolls!!

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We say whatever we want to whomever we want, at all times.