Wednesday, August 15, 2012

what a day....

This morning, Mum and I found Stepdad dead in his room.

Well really Mum saw him and would not enter the room, so she sent me to see if he was breathing. He was in his chair with his oxygen thingy not on his face like it usually is, and he looked very white.

He was cold.

I know we expected this, since he was so sick. And Stepdad and his kids have been making our lives miserable for years, so it's not like there was any love lost there, but still.....

As terrible a person as he was, I think towards the end he received it back in spades--his kids didn't want to take care of him and made that fairly obvious, he was dying a slow and awful death and living in a house with people who didn't really want him there--not exactly a pleasant end of life.

I think maybe he killed himself, God rest him. There were a bunch of empty pill bottles in the rubbish bin next to his bed. I didn't tell Mum that.

We've already had to call the cops on Stepbro #1 twice today. All communication between my fam and Stepdad's kids is now being done between me and Stepbro #2, who is the most mature/civil. I have a feeling this will get interesting once Stepbro #1 and Grendel start drinking later on.

I think I may need a drink as well.... Mum's a bit of a wreck though, so I'm trying to keep a clear head. I imagine I shall need it.


  1. just stay strong lovie!
    I'm a hospice caregiver so i see sick and dying people all of the time and i can understand that it's all kind of out of whack. but i think that this too shall pass.
    good luck!

  2. You're an amazingly strong person, Mich, and I truly hope that everything goes as smoothly as one can expect with this kind of thing. Like amybear says, 'this too shall pass'. That's one of my mom's favorite mantras, and it seems to be true, mostly. Hang in there, and much love.

    PS: This is the girl who was previously known as A Will is the Way, I've just re-located out of paranoia and stupidity.

    All my love, again.

  3. What a circus :/ Turn off the phones & lock the doors sometime if you need to, k? Amybear & Nona are right, things will calm down with time.

  4. Oh wow! I mean even though he's be sick forever, it still just kind of came as a random shock.

    That is a sad way to die, with no one really wanting you around, so I guess that's some inspiration to live as a good person...

    I hope there aren't any family wars or anything, funerals tend to bring out the worst in people. Someone in Wisconsin loves you and is sending kind thoughts your way!!

  5. Wow, I think that this was a long time coming, but I'm sure its still intense.

    I hope your mom is able to handle things ok and that the siblings/step siblings can be civil while getting the affairs in order.

    You are very kind and brave to help your mom through this.

    Let me know if you need anything, ok?

  6. It is hard to deal with someone's death, to be the one taking care of things and dealing with the drama that comes along with it...

    Take care of yourself and feel free to tell others to bugger off if you feel like it.

    Even though he was someone with whom you don't have a loving relationship, it is normal to be upset - or not. Don't be afraid to feel something... and don't be ashamed for not feeling anything.

  7. awful. I'm really sorry. Try to take care of yourself, especially as you're kind of stuck in the middle of everything, trying to be the peace-maker and soothe things over. I know how exhausting that can be. Love you, babe. ((Hugs))

  8. Now that's an opening line to a post, regardless of how you felt about him I'm sorry to hear this, at last you may close this part of your life and have no more to do with the step family. Stay strong and sober girl!

  9. Oh my GOD Mich!! MY stepdad died at home with me and my mom and my little bro who couldnt' do anything. He had done my mom SO wrong for years and came back home to die. He got cancer and it didn't take long. They slept separately. It was awful. I took care of him with my mom while his own kids could barely come around for visits once in a while. I have always wondered if it was his own bad karma that gave him cancer. sickening to think about. I'm so sorry, its tough no matter what. Mom and I drank ourselves silly through the whole thing. It's understandable. Just don't drink n drive :-)
    Love you Baby xo

  10. I'm so sorry to hear that this has happened Mich despite how you feel about him this is something that nobody deserves to see and the fact that he might have taken his own life is even more upsetting. I'm seriously hoping that you, your mother and your family will all be fine in moving forwards from this. There's nothing wrong if you decide to get really drunk because I know that a lot of people would too, just be careful if you do though, none of this is your fault and you're going to need to stay strong for your mum too, this is an unpleasant situation and I hope you're okay eventually!

  11. That is absolutely shitty. He wasn't a nice bloke and his chickens (More like turkeys) came home to roost with a vengeance, but this is still shitty.

    Time for the Emergency Gin. If Stepbro#1 doesn't sort his shit out and act like a human being let me know and I'll send you some stinkwood leaves to slip into the lining of the seats of his car when he's not looking ;)

    Lots of love and many, many hugs to you all. Kia kaha <3

  12. Holy crap!

    (I don't know what else to say...)


  13. Wow, i don't know what else to say either. Just please take care of your self and like the others have said, i hope there aren't any sib wars or other awful things, you have enough to deal with. This probably is not the proper time to say this at all, but Hub's Mom's ashes are still sitting at home with the brother he doesn't speak to...yay, family. i hope that wasn't totally inapropriate...

    Be good to yourself, hon and hide in the closet with a drink if you want.....

    xoxo, tracy

  14. Oh my, that is more than enough to ruin someone's week. ._.

    Best of luck dealing with the whole situation.

  15. I'm so sorry this happened to you, on top of everything else you've had to deal with this year. I really hope things remain civil and that your stepbrother#1 behaves himself. I can't blame you for wanting a drink, I'd be reachng for a stiffener, too, if it were me. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Thinking of you and your mum. All the best and much love. :) ♥♥♥

  16. I'm sorry for your loss. Have a drink, maybe two.

    This is my first time posting on your blog, and I wish you the best.


  17. Wow, I'm sorry to hear. Even if you weren't on the best terms, it's still not fun to go through. Have a beer or 3. You sound like you could use it.

  18. I hope your feeling okay. Even though you had your differences things like that can still be tough. I hope you get through this and the other things going on in your life.

  19. Poor girl. Having to be peacemaker and referee is hard thankless work. Sendinglove to you & your mum.

  20. I hope things aren't too crazy, Mich! <3!!!


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