Sorry for the long silence, I just haven't really had anything to talk about. The med situation hasn't changed. My doc (who still can't remember how to pronounce my name after a year and a half of seeing me every month) dismissed any possible notions of antidepressants causing writers' block, and then suggested INCREASING my dosage.
I've shopped around for other psychiatrists, but there aren't that many nearby covered by my insurance, and I would have to wait another month and a half anyway because I can't afford the co-pay to see another doctor so soon. Also my doc will not question me when I want more xanax, a trait that is getting increasingly difficult to find in doctors.
When I went to see the psychiatrist this past week, there were only two chairs left in the waiting room, so I chose the one that was not beside the smelly dude who looked visibly insane. Ten seconds later, when I actually started listening to the conversation of the five men next to me, I questioned my decision. They were in a deep discussion about their encounters with aliens, how many time they'd been abducted, and apparently one of them had aliens living in a cave in his backyard. That one then started complaining how long it was taking to complete the process to receive his handgun license.
I have managed to write a few more pages of the YA book I've been working on for the last few years, and the book itself is nearly finished. This is due solely to continued harassment from Guitar Teacher demanding that I finish it so he can read it.
There is no emoji to describe my current mood, so I made one.
In other news.........
Last Saturday, I managed to catch Eleven and drive her to her temporary foster home, at a friend-of-a-friend's house. Because Eleven is pregnant and I don't want a load of kittens running around the village potentially getting run over or freezing to death next winter.
Eleven was none too happy about this. That was possibly the most stressful car ride of my life.
I miss my Eleven. :**(
But I am trying to keep reminding myself that this is for the best. She will eventually warm up to her foster mother, her kittens will go to good homes, and Eleven will get her shots, get de-wormed, get spayed, and eventually come home to me, probably inside.*
Now listen to this hilarious video. All the way to the end.
Now listen to this hilarious video. All the way to the end.
*Which will be another fun-filled few weeks of getting Harleyquinn and the Simple Cat to get along with her.
-__-
What is it with doctors with not listening? I have been on antidepressants for years but for the time being have a cocktail that is working for me. My brother is new to this scene and every time he goes back telling them about adverse effects they increase the dose. I'm not kidding. Psychiatrists don't listen. They just want to hand out medication. My GP has been the one to get me on the right medications and doses.
ReplyDeleteBut do stay the course. It can take awhile to find what works for you. I recommend keeping a daily journal with how you are feeling and the different problems you are noticing.
Sorry to hear that the mental health situation hasn't changed. I'm hopeful that it will all get sorted out for you and you will feel like your old self sooner than later. Take care.
ReplyDeleteJust tell me this- why did she keep answering?
ReplyDeleteI don't know, but I am so happy she did
Delete...one doc for Xanax and one for other meds?
ReplyDeleteI confess to misremembering your name for a time as Ash-lynn, but you said that is an acceptable variation and forgave me. I confuse local friends if I put Aisling in a text, so I clarify "The friend with the fancy dresses." And you are saved in my contacts as Ashthing, which I hope is an acceptable bastardization of endearment.
I got my dog spayed so she'd never have puppies. Certainly something I didn't want to go through
ReplyDeleteMedication definitely affects writing ability. A couple years ago, I was taking Ibuprofen for foot pain, and suddenly I couldn't write. I read of a study where Ibuprofen decreases so-called "Existential angst." How can anyone write without existential angst?
ReplyDeleteAnd other drugs affect the way the amygdala stores memories, which also affects writing.
To write, you've got to keep goinmg on all cylinders, and medicines affect that!
You're right!
Truth? I know nothing of depression/anxiety meds, although I've thought about it from time to time. My Mom takes depression meds that work sporadically. I base this on phone conversations, which is probably not very accurate (she lives in Texas, I'm in New Mexico).
ReplyDeleteBut I do know that writer's blockage has been experienced by:
Maya Angelou
Mark Twain
Ernest Hemingway
John Steinbeck
Norman Mailer
Neil Gaimen
Ray Bradbury
.......so you see, you have lots of company. I didn't even list them all. It will pass, you know, kind of like a kidney stone. Perhaps a little painful, but it will pass.
❤
DeleteMan, that annoying video made me laugh all the way through it!
ReplyDeleteOne of the most difficult things about seeing a mental healthcare provider is dealing with the nutty people in the waiting room. Psychiatrists should have two waiting rooms: one for the quietly desperate who want peace and one for the out-there crazy types.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Janie
I'm a cat person, too, so I can relate, Mich.
ReplyDeleteI like the emoji just saying, how annoying that after a year and half the damn person still doesn't know how to pronounce your name.
ReplyDeleteThe problem with doctors is that they're so smart they don't really listen to their patients sometime. Very glad Eleven and her kittens will be well and that she'll come back to you in the end. And I love the emoji you made.
ReplyDelete-can't pronounce your name? Doc sounds a bit of a twat. Ugh. I mean, if your name were Aisling & I never *heard* you say it, then I'd have a heck of time with the pronunciation. Irish names can throw me a bit. :)
ReplyDeleteGlad your kitty will have a place to give birth, recoup & such before coming home to you.
Hugs from CA.
bea
Oh, wait. What?!? I clicked on the name-link AFTER posting my silly comment. Your name is Aisling? Hehe. I met a chick in Hell's Kitchen who tended bar up the road from where I tended bar who was called Aisling. She both said it & spelled it for me. I've got my head around Siobhan and Nuala, but it did take me a minute to do her/your name justice. :D
DeleteWell, at least it was an interesting conversation? ;) People worry me.
ReplyDeleteWell, OBVIOUSLY you need a handgun to keep your backyard cave aliens in check. Duh.
ReplyDeleteIf your doc still can't get your name right, AND doesn't believe your writer's block is directly tied to your meds (which I can definitely vouch for), you should just start calling him the wrong name entirely. Like if his name is Bob, call him Steve. And keep calling him Steve even when he corrects you. He'll learn your name after that, I bet.
I like Birdie's idea about the journal keeping track.
ReplyDelete