Friday, October 9, 2015

The Hand.

I have mentioned previously some of the ways in which I tortured Lil Sis growing up. In honor of Lil Sis's upcoming 21st birthday, I will tell y'all about my all time favourite.

Let me back up to 3 years before Lil Sis was even born.

I had an AWESOME Halloween party in 1991. Unfortunately, none of the adults present deemed it necessary to take any photos of it, so y'all will have to use your imaginations.

Mum and Lil Sis's dad constructed a haunted house in my basement--a tunnel filled with lights and fog and fake spiderwebs, that ended in the sauna (which was terrifying enough on its own[that basement will eventually have its own blog post; I'm working on it]), where Lil Sis's dad had set up an "axe murderer" using some of his own clothes, newspaper (to stuff the clothes/body), and this really creepy mask-and-gloves Halloween costume.

After the party, many of the decorations found their way into the toys and other random stuff in the basement. And somehow, years later, one of the gloves continued to survive Mum's frequent THROW EVERYTHING AWAY episodes.

Sometimes small children are completely terrified of random things for no reason. Niecey G used to be so afraid of my friend M. that she would either freeze like a deer in headlights, paralyzed with fear, or scream bloody murder whenever he entered the room. One of my little cousins used to FLIP THE EFF OUT if he spotted a cobweb in the house.

And Lil Sis had an intense fear of that glove.

Once I discovered Lil Sis's reaction to the glove, I just couldn't resist. Big Sis #2 thought this was hilarious as well, and pretty much everyone else who wasn't Lil Sis or Mum. 

Whenever Lil Sis did something bratty 

(which was like every few seconds, hence why we never felt guilty about this), 

we would hide the glove up our sleeves

and let Lil Sis fall into a false sense of security

and then at the right moment

we would slowly expose the hairy hand and wait for Lil Sis to see it.

The glove would be hidden as soon as Mum came running to see what was wrong with Lil Sis. And the poor child would be in such a state of abject terror, she could never articulate what had upset her.

and for a moment, all was right with the world

For Lil Sis's birthday next week, I have purchased her a hairy hand.


  1. Love this Mich!!
    I have two older sisters
    When u was little the oldest one used to lock me in her room and put on MJs Thriller and pretend she was changing in to the walking dead
    I was terrified
    And traumatised to this day
    Thank you for bring back memories x

  2. A wonderful sibling, you are. I hope she appreciates it!

  3. Oh that is too funny! I laughed at loud. Which drew a stinging rebuke from a [not anymore] sleeping Mrs. Penwasser: "What is so GD funny when I'm trying to sleep???"

  4. Maha haha I love it. Terrorizing younger sibs is what makes things bearable when younger sibs get spoiled by relatives.

  5. That's hilariously awesome. As an only child, I never got to enjoy sibling torture. I think I missed out. Also, I love that Millennium was your show of choice. Back in the day that was my jam. Frank Black was the man.

    1. As an only child as well, I agree! Though, I did get to enjoy cousin and friend torture. :)

  6. Thanks for the early morning laugh. I can't wait to read about her reaction to her birthday gift!

  7. I believe the first rule of parenting (and apparently being a sibling) is that if your child (or sibling) doesn't end up in therapy then you have failed as a parent (sibling). Thankfully my brothers were never actually mean to me. I was always nice to my sister too. What a weird family we were, looking back.


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