Friday, June 14, 2013

Announcing your plans is a good way to hear God laugh.

I think I have a cavity or something.


It's been there a while actually. The tooth began its betrayal by getting more and more sensitive to things like hot and cold and toothbrushing.  Now there is actual pain. BASTARD TOOTH WHY CAN'T YOU JUST BEHAVE LIKE ALL THE OTHERS??

 I have no dental insurance. A cleaning/check-up alone is like $200.00 or more. And then add the cost of whatever they have to do to fix the rogue tooth. That is money I do not have, which means I will have to put it on a credit card, which--on top of several other unforeseen expenses recently--means that I AM NEVER GOING TO HAVE THE FINANCIAL MEANS TO MOVE FAR AWAY FROM HERE.

This makes me more depressed than I can articulate in words.

Sure I suppose I can always be my own dentist. The pliers and copious amount of alcohol are much cheaper than an actual dentist.

Speaking of medical procedures for which I do not have money, I may need to scrape some money together for the cat scan my doctor wants me to get....

A couple weeks ago, I was in the shower and all of a sudden thought that the house was shaking. I nearly ran outside with naught but a towel until I opened the shower door and saw Lil Sis's bottles of perfume lined up on the counter.

In an earthquake, liquids in bottles will generally move about. Not sit perfectly still.

The earthquake was in my head.

That realization did not make it go away. It actually got worse about 2 seconds later, and I had to sit down in the shower for the next ten minutes because it felt like I was on a boat during a hurricane and I couldn't stand up. Since then, I have been on my own private sailing trip. The vertigo never goes away now. Some days it gets really bad and I can't do anything except lie down and pop Dramamine to lessen the motion sickness.

Like today at work, for example. I fell off my chair this morning. I feel like Liza Minelli in Arrested Development. 



  1. Sorry to hear of of all your health issues Mich, especially the tooth one simply because of how sore and agonising I know it is, it's frustrating that the pain I've blogged about recently still isn't gone and it's been there for ages! Worryingly despite us having our treatments on the NHS I have to pay nearly 250 pounds/300 dollars for my second part of my root canal, scary times for both us in that regards, hopefully the CAT scan shows you're on the mend too!

    1. 250 POUNDS?!!?? That's more like 400 Yankee dollars. They better be giving you some good service (and by that I mean drugs--Idk how you feel about this, but when it comes to severe dental pain, I WANT SOME DAMN GOOD MEDICATION, previous drug addiction(s) be damned).

  2. Wow dentistry is expensive. Over here it's about £25 I think for a checkup. You really do need to get that cat scan though Mich. I hope it's nothing serious. You can live with cavities but not with something in your brain.

    1. Yeah, that's how much the tooth fairy charges in Pennsylvania. Pricey, indeed.

    2. Philly dentistry's much better, though. Just walk down a dark alley and call everyone who passes you some kind of racial slur. We'll get that bad tooth out in a jiffy!! Of course you might lose some other parts as well (and possibly your life), but you know it IS free.

  3. That's an impressive canine you got hangin out there on the right. but JAYSUS woman you're IRISH, you people don't go to dentists. Just let the worthless twat of a tooth fall out. Or get it capped with gold. That's hardcore. Like my drunken aunts, all of them have gold teeth. They're like fucking pirates.


  4. I know Matthew can certainly attest to the agony of tooth pain. I know what it's like to not have insurance. I just had to get new eyeglasses for which insurance didn't pay a cent. I may have to moonlight on my second chosen career to raise a little scratch: gigolo for women with low standards.

    1. .....yeah I've needed new glasses/follow up exams for like...
      ...crikey, 11 years now. But sure I'm used to everything looking a bit fuzzy round the edges (and my insurance doesn't cover that), so I figure I don't need new glasses. Or any glasses, since I also cannot find the old ones.

  5. Haven't been here in ages, but was suddenly craving you guys and your thoughts again. So sorry you're having some health problems. I know what you mean about not having the money for procedures you need. Sucks enormously.

    I hope your vertigo goes away quickly and turns out to be no big deal. It sounds terrible! My mom and aunt both get vertigo in response to stress.

    Love you, girlie.

  6. OK, I haven't commented here lately, but this hits close to home. I've had more pain in my mouth than most. I now have implants and dentures and ONE real tooth. Get the pain taken care of, even if you have to beg, borrow, or steal. By a pro, I mean. It's worth it. Don't self-medicate too much (I won't tell you NOT to self-medicate, because sometimes you have to do something) because it may get out of hand. I once swallowed an entire bottle of aspirin as I was going mad with pain. I started with a couple, then a couple more, then three, then as pain didn't go away, I swallowed handfuls. I passed out, waking up about an hour later. I'm lucky I didn't die. Anyway, get the pain relieved in the right way, PLEASE!

  7. Ouch. Being poor does suck. My glasses need updating and my teeth need help too. Let's go get drunk together! I'm such a damn featherweight I'll be an amusing sight to laugh at.
    The vertigo is scary. I want you safe! But that medical bill... yikes..... maybe model some necklaces for $? You do have a glorious bosom that would definitely catch attention.
    Should I slap myself? I feel like I should slap myself.
    *slaps self*
    Ok I go pimp out your books some more. And I go pimp out your cute mugs assuming they still exist?
    Please take care of yourself......
    I hope this all works out <3

  8. Also... I'm loving your new banner. And I'm hoping the hotmail acct I have for you is correct :)

  9. Aww Mich I'm sorry things are crummy healthwise. Pippin offers his cat-scan services if that makes you feel any better.

    Rinsing with peroxide twice a day (directions on bottle) can help keep it from getting infected while you delay treatment. There's also a product called CareCredit that is a line of credit for specific bills, dental care (and vet care, oddly) being on the list [the provider has to take it though]. At least it wouldn't eat into credit lines you might need for emergency-get-the-eff-out expenses?

    Also, is there a public hospital you feel safe going to? Around here I've been surprised to find out how much bills can get reduced based on your income. Perhapsibly worth a shot.

    Take care!

  10. Tooth pain is the worst! I hope you don't need a root canal or an extraction. I've had a lot of cavities over the years but there was one I didn't get treated b/c my mom had no insurance. The cavity cracked a hole in the tooth, and the cheapo filling came out. My tooth hole smelled awful and hurt worse; one night I went to NYC for a Morrissey show and I was in agony before and after but not during (thanks Moz!) By that time what little tooth was left was a stinking rotten mess and had to be pulled.

    So, moral of the story - get that tooth taken care of! If you don't have the money, sell something (books, knives, drugs...) or get yourself to a country with affordable dental service. Hopefully it's just a minor thing but you never know until you go. (That goes for your vertigo treatment as well.)

    P.S. Whe are we going hiking? I need some fresh air & exercise!! :-D

  11. Tooth sensitivity and Labyrithitis... not fun! Well, I'm hoping it's no more than tooth sensitivity and an inner ear problem. I had several root canal procedures to the same tooth last year and it was HELL!!! I can only imagine how awful the vertigo must have been for you. I had a mild dose in college and also had a few 'Lucille Austero' moments! Oy! Keeping fingers crossed that both ailments are easliy treatable, but above all, cheap! Hang in there, babe. Love you. :) <3

  12. Oh my do I feel your pain. Had to have a root canal on Saturday. My dentist didn't really inspire confidence either (she had to go get the endodontist from upstairs to ask if she had done it right). And I apparently have another massive cavity that needs taking care of. I'm really glad I finally qualify for Dental with my job(it's the only reason I went in, I would normally just have suffered through it with my secret stash of *vitamins). The root canal still cost me $200 with insurance (and that was before the crown, she has to put that in Thursday this week). I hope you can get the CAT scan soon, that sounds kinda serious! You could also go to your local ER and get the cat scan that way. They can't deny treatment, and you can arrange payment with them on a plan or something, but you would probably have to deal with a long wait. I really hope you're able to figure it all out! xo

  13. Cat scan? It could be a brain or an ear thing. Or both? fucking hell. STOP THE ROOM I WANT OFF!

    Damn I wish you lived here. You can go to the Dental School really cheaply. Pay peanuts to have the n00bs practise on you. (Fringe benefit to having a Med School at your University. That and you can donate your body for them to dis-assemble)

    Take care DragonMich <3

  14. I hate how expensive the dentist is. Hell, even WITH insurance, back when I had to get a crown it was still almost $1000. I don't even want to know what it would have been without insurance.

    Now that I no longer have dental... well, let's just say that much like you I have those pliers ready and at the helm in case I need them...

  15. Well, i had a whole comment written and fucking blogger ate it....crap....just know that i love you bunches!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  16. Love you Michie and your last few blogs have been more than amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!! i re-read a letter you sent me long ago, it almost brought me to tears, you are so wonderful and sweet!


We say whatever we want to whomever we want, at all times.