Sometimes I live in the country; sometimes I live in town; sometimes I have the great notion to jump into the river and drown.

Hurricane? Pleeeeeeeeeeeaaasee!!


We scoff at predicted weather apocalypses in my house. We make fun of our friends who are all flying out to the supermarkets to empty their bank accounts on "supplies." 


Ok yeah it's always good to be prepared. But until I see a Category 587874894389 hurricane spewing hellfire all up on the northern east coast, I'm not going to believe that we will have anything more than lots of rain, some wind that may knock out power for a bit, and some flooding in the places that get flooding anyway every time it rains. 


This is the 21st century, folks. And weather-wise, we live in the most boring spot on the planet. 


So yeah, as far as mixing magical Chinese herbs with sleep meds--I did think of that immediately AFTER taking the sleeping pills on Monday night. When it's getting closer and closer to dawn and you need to get at least some sleep in order to function at work at 9.00, you tend not to make good decisions. 


But I'm still here, and MIRACULOUSLY, I have been falling asleep without drugs or alcohol!!! 


LIKE OMG.


First time in something like 8 years? I mean I'm not falling asleep right when I go to bed--it's more like at 1.30 AM or 2, and I'm still waking up every hour or so, but this is still a HUGE improvement. 


I'm currently waiting for Aliens to finish downloading into itunes so I can go to the gym and watch it on the elliptical. 


(And am praying the good people at Planet Fitness are not sissies who will close early because we're about to get a bit more rain than usual.)


Then I'm heading to a supermarket. Not sure which one yet, but I need dinner supplies. I'm hoping some of the nearby ones will still have food items left by the time I get there. Mum, Little Sis, and I are planning on being stranded at home, so we're having what used to be our Saturday Night Dinner before eating disorders ruined that sort of thing. 


If Mum and her 2 youngest children are going to be stuck in the house all night, the only way they know how to behave is to stuff their faces. 

Otherwise we'd only eat each other instead. 


So Saturday Night Dinner: steaks (filet mignon marinated in lite Caesar dressing and broiled), fried onions (there's no way to make that healthy--it's just a load of onion chopped up tiny and sauteed in a pan with butter), and chips (steak fries--in the oven though, not deep fried). This is the ultimate comfort food, and we haven't done this on a Saturday in AGES, so I'm trying not to freak out about the calorie content. 


Plus if we do end up getting a giant hurricane and we're stranded in a post-apocalyptic New Jersey for the next month, I'll need to beef up for when we run out of food. 


-__-


Hope you're all having a good weekend! <3

No tears, please. It's a waste of good suffering.

I'm really impressed with myself at the general coherence of Saturday's cat post. Because I was WASTED. Went to din with Mum and Step-dad (idk.... this week they're friendly again because the doctor told him he's dying again, and has a year to live [again?], so Mum feels bad for him... again. It won't last because inevitably he will turn back into his usual nasty verbally abusive self.) But yeah it gets kind of awkward going out with the two of them as opposed to just going out with Mum, and I had not eaten anything all day except for an egg on a piece of safe bread, so drinking three glasses of Pinot Grigio in a short period of time ended in me totally fluthered. 

And then I got into a texting argument with Paul#2. He wanted me to come over (that usually means he's drunk and looking for some @ss, or he's trying to pass me off onto one of his friends and I AM SO DONE WITH THAT SH*T). I declined, saying I already had plans to go hang out at Friend's new apartment and maybe we could hang next weekend (which was true, except Friend ended up bailing because she had to work late, but I never told P2 that because by then it was late anyway). Then he gets all pissy saying that I always bail when we try to plan to hang out, and that I never come over anymore and blah blah blah whinge whinge whinge whinge.... 

I started to get mad because not once has P2 EVER driven up to hang out with me close to my house. He didn't even make an effort to come hang out for my last two birthdays. Oh it's too far? You don't feel like having to drive home late? Or you don't want to come because you won't be able to drink too much?? 

GO EFF YOURSELF. Up the AAASSSSSSS!!!!!!!!

....

Ugh. I'm really sick of people. But I'll get back to that...

So yesterday (Monday), in my never-ending quest for normal sleeping patterns, I went for acupuncture. I had never been acupunctured before, and was rather excited. One of Mum's friends recommended the lady (Tammy, who is Chinese, and fabulous), and said that she treats insomnia, so I thought what the heck. Let's give it a go. 

I was like REALLY excited about this. The way I saw it, acupuncture is like self-harm that is socially acceptable. But I would discover that my expectations were not quite realistic. 

I didn't feel a thing. Not so much as the equivalent of a mosquito bite.

I kept silent though, as I figured she might question my mental state if I suggested she employ the use of some knitting needles and a hammer. 

It wasn't unpleasant--Tammy put on nice relaxing music, put one of those lavender-filled beanbag things on my face, poked me in the arms, hands, head, legs, and feet with miniscule needles, and massaged my arms and legs afterwards. Apparently my chi is weak, and I have a lot of fire in me.

She gave me some herbs:

not a clue

When she suggested "herbs," I had expected something that smelled worse than Valerian root and tasted like a sewer, but I was pleasantly surprised. Those things smell faintly of ginger snaps, and have no taste. 

(And she said she was starting me off on the children's dose, because I'm so small.) 

 So not a bad experience altogether. 

Afterwards, I went home, went to the gym, skipped dinner (and am somehow GAINING weight even though I haven't binged in 8 days?!?!), and--as Tammy instructed--took the nighttime dose of herbal supplements and soaked my feet in hot water half an hour before bedtime. 

I did not expect a miracle cure for insomnia. I figured acupuncture is the sort of thing that would build up effectiveness over time. Sure I was completely open to whatever positive effects it might have on me, but I did not expect that I would suddenly and miraculously be able to fall asleep in a reasonable amount of time and remain asleep for the duration of the night. 

However, I did not expect that I would not be able to sleep AT ALL even after taking my usual sleep meds. Nor did I expect the intense chest pain and racing heart that occurred about 20 minutes after I took my sleeping pills. I was tossing and turning and panicking because I thought I was having a heart attack until I finally fell into a weird half-sleep around 4.00 in the morning. 

And then the Mother of All Nightmares began. 

I'm not going into details. I can't bring myself to write it all down again (it went straight into the dream diary this morning). It involved me slowly losing my mind as a result of not being able to sleep, and ended in me being committed to a mental hospital and injected full of sedatives (which was not all that bad in general, but there was something deeply horrifying about the dream as a whole). 

That was hands down one of the most vivid dreams I have ever had in my life. To the point where I am STILL checking the sides of my neck for the 2nd and 3rd degree burns that were in the dream. And I still get the faint sensation that the skin there on my neck is stiff and numb and kind of achy. I don't think she even stuck any needles in my neck. 

I heard that this sort of thing can be a normal side effect, so I'll go back for a few more sessions and see how it goes...

...Getting back to feeling sick of people....

I think I might take a weekend and go off into the woods alone. I've been checking out the KOA website. I would rent the cheapest one-room cabin they have (no running water or bathroom) and just be a hermit for a few days. I'm thinking the most remote one I can find in New York, New Hampshire, or Maine. 

Will think about that as something to do for the upcoming weekends weekends....

Hope you all survived the earthquake! <3