Friday, January 30, 2015

I'm the damn mayor; play Shiny Happy People or you're fired.

Accidentally sliced my hand open with a kitchen knife this week. Again.

Is anyone else this accident-prone in the kitchen? I mean I know I'm ridiculous, but it's a combo of a total lack of coordination, dysfunctional spatial relationships, and the fact that I have sustained so many cuts and burns on my hands that I can't really feel anything anymore.

Fire is a frightening thing. Particularly because of how easy it is to start one. Heating oil scares me the most. My cousins used to have a chip fryer in the kitchen, and we all thought it was the greatest thing ever. That is until my one cousin managed to set it on fire and more or less burned down the kitchen.

We go through a lot of oven gloves in my house because very often an oven glove will be left a little bit too close to an open flame.



Also, until I had an electric stove in college, I never knew those hot coils could set things on fire.

Ever seen a toaster or a toaster oven burst into flames? It's really important to clean those bread crumbs out every once in a while. My old roommates learned this the hard way with my first toaster oven. I was only gone for two days (normally I cooked everything and didn't allow them to touch the kitchen appliances). I came home to this:


And somehow I still do not know how to use a fire extinguisher.

This weekend's cooking adventure: I am going to attempt to bake a loaf of bread. Recipe and photos may or may not be forthcoming.

11 comments:

  1. Oh please do post pictures the results, regardless of how disastrous it may end up to be.

    And your drawings crack me the hell up, ha!

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  2. I have a heat transfer machine at work you'd just love- I have two fingers that didn't.

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  3. I've not managed to set something on fire myself, but the fear of doing so is ever present every time I go to cook. I HAVE seen someone accidentally start a fire in a kitchen though. My friend was making bacon in my kitchen and the fat caught fire. Luckily we were able to put it out pretty quickly before anything went wrong.

    You know, other than a fire happening.

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  4. Is that the view from your kitchen window?

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    1. Yes, that was the view in that particular apartment, much our confusion. It wasn't even another building, looked more like an elevator shaft.

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  5. They make special gloves to avoid that finger slicing thing. Most restaurants workers, who tend to get blase about chopping stuff use them. Kind of like wearing little chains like knights of olden days.

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  6. This made me laugh! My arms are plastered in burns from the oven, set oven gloves on fire and even somehow made chocolate spark in the microwave!?

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  7. Poor uncoordinated Mich! Those toaster crumbs are silent killers, aren't they? I think you need to take a fire safety class, or make friends with a fireman. Once you've mastered the art of fire extinguishing, be sure to install one in your kitchen, mum's kitchen, etc...or carry a small, portable one in your purse (do they make portable fire extinguishers?)

    Not sure what to do about accidentally slicing yourself - rubber gloves maybe?

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  8. oops. I hope you're okay, Mich. and hey, you can always make up awesome stories about how you got sliced. but yeah, I sliced my hand with a kitchen knife once when I was 11. sort of scared to try and cut burgers from their sheets now. my theory is that us astounding minds are so good that God decided to make us incapable in the kitchen so that we aren't like 100% perfect...but you know, that's just a theory.

    -Sam Lupin

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  9. Ooohhh you have to have a smoke detector :)

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    Replies
    1. Lol we covered it because it goes off even if you're just boiling water....

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