Monday, March 25, 2013

...and then proposition Gale from accounting with this dildo made from a shipping tube.

As Mumsy is incredibly fond of doing, she cornered me at 7.30 this morning for discussion* on Obamacare.

(Having lived with me for the last 28 years, one would think Mumsy would have figured out by now that, like most normal humans, Mich is in no fit state whatsoever so form words or coherent thoughts 5 minutes after getting out of bed.)

 She left the house declaring, "WELL IT'S YOUR FAULT, YOU VOTED HIM IN!!!"

Every time she says this (which is often), I want to slap her. Mumsy is not an American citizen and therefore cannot vote. If she wanted, she could become a citizen easily enough because she's been here so long. But she doesn't.

Therefore, she clearly does not CARE enough about it to become an American citizen, which in my opinion means she should shut the feck up about who anyone voted in for president.

No, I am not crazy about Obama. However, I'm pretty sure Mitt Romney was the political equivalent of the f*cking antichrist, so NO, I did not vote for him.

...Anyways, moving on...

I'm not really into politics. I have only a very very very basic understanding of how government works and how countries are run. But it doesn't take a genius to see that this country is getting more corrupt than the rotting carcass of a plague rat baking beneath a 102-degree summer sun.
 But no one does anything.

We sit around complaining and holding stupid occupy-wherever "protests," but when it comes down to it, no one actually does anything that will move us towards change.

Once upon a time, back in the days when people wore the most awesome outfits ever devised by man,
 the people of France were getting increasingly pissed off by the ruling class. The rich kept getting richer and kept giving fewer and fewer f*cks about the poor, who kept on getting deeper and deeper into the pit of poverty while the price of the basic things they needed (like food, for example), increased to the point where a helluva lot of people could not afford them.

What did the people of France do? I'll give you a hint: they didn't camp outside the King and Queen's palace in an Occupy Versailles protest with colourful signs and hippies holding drum circles.

No. Beginning with a bunch of pissed off housewives, the poor folk of Versailles looted the city armory and marched on the palace, more or less overthrowing King Louis XVI and starting the French Revolution.

We've had a revolution here before, when we got sick of doing what the English told us to do. And we won. I don't see why we can't do it again, only this time, we overthrow all the scumbags currently running things. 

I realize I am blatantly doing exactly what that picture^ says not to. But I don't know how to go about starting a revolution. The books on my current reading list that deal with this subject are a few centuries out of date.

I know things in this country could be a lot worse, and we really don't have it that bad and blah blah blah, but that doesn't make things suck any less. ...I feel like maybe I've just lost all patience and tolerance for bullsh*t. I dunno... I'm at the point where I want to punch everyone in the teeth, and going out in public makes me want to annihilate the human race. Living in Bergen County is sapping me of what little empathy and fortitude I had to begin with.

This has some fun side effects, though. I have become blunt to the point that people are afraid of me and my completely non-sugar-coated opinions. >:D

* - That means she's ranting and no one else can get a word in edgewise.


  1. I feel the same way, but I think things have been done a certain way for so long, no one wants to make the effort that it would take to change it. It makes me crazy sometimes, everyone I know is unemployed and can't find a decent job or their house is in foreclosure or they're getting daily phone calls from collection agencies for medical bills. It does suck. We should start a revolution, and wear French Baroque gowns.

    Also that first picture made me laugh until I choked.

  2. OMG I know, almost every single one of my friends has either lost their job, is about to lose their house, or is getting sued for medical stuff! It's ridiculous!!

    1. ...and the rest have all gotten hooked on oxy.

  3. I believe our country has a strong foundation in the constitution and the original concepts for how it should be run (I know some disagree), but it's gotten so top-heavy and corrupt it's just nauseating. I say we burn D.C. to the ground with all its elected inhabitants (probably all the state governments too) and start from the ground up with new blood who support themselves like normal people in the real world have to, and have never held office before.

  4. I've pretty much lost all faith in whatever or whomever is running he country. On top of that, I am ill versed in politics but I know thus far, things keep sucking as time goes by.

    Other than that, move to Union county instead. I lived in Bergen County and just the sheer amount of people made me feel just as much hate as the one you spew in your awesome rhetoric. Although you are a girl so it sounds scarier.

    This line: "the rotting carcass of a plague rat baking beneath a 102-degree summer sun" . Sounds like the tittle of a good book. Or a more concise descriptive title of the US Government.

  5. This has been a really good political lesson for me Mich haha, it's much appreciated from a guy who despite getting an A in A Level Politics, spent the entire two years of Politics not knowing the difference between the left and right wing haha. It's annoying that your mum goes off on one at you so early in the morning when you're not really prepared though, she should sort that out. You're not to blame for Obama's policies alone for goodness sake.

  6. I was actually talking to my dad about this not long back. Everyone and their mothers (even yours!) is complaining and bitching and going on about how much they're suffering but they aren't doing a thing about it. Peaceful protests are nice, and I wish things could be done peacefully, but when people don't care about your opinion then they don't care about your opinion. I find myself wondering just what it would take for people to finally decide they've had enough and start a good old fashioned riot.

  7. I'm right with you on politics- I know just the basics because I'm not really that interested in it! Feeling powerless is one of the suckiest feelings. Just being able to play the cards we're dealt by the Platonic govrnemnt and not bring able to do a thing about in regards to a transformative revolution. Is horrible.

  8. i read Gale in the title i expect this to be a Hunger Games related post and if not then fuck you Mich
    omg you are perfect and omg who the fuck can understand anything at that time it's just shitty
    im not crazy about anyone i'm not crazy about politicals
    start singing ABC Cafe in your nearest cafe and get a wig of curly hair
    what did i just see
    -Sam Lupin

  9. THANKS A LOT ASSHOLE my nephew is here for the week on his Easter vacation and he's been flailing around the house singing I'll do this with my hands, not mermaids, they're DUGONGS!

    I hate you.

  10. I've nominated your supersmart and mad blog for the Versatile Blogger Award

  11. Regarding the title: Seafodd Dude made the 'Noms'R'U Work Experience Stick' which was basically a dildo made from plastic wrap, a ball of paper and one of the huge cardboard tubes from our industrial-sized tinfoil rolls XD

    As Miles has discovered, I communicate in grunts and Staffie-esque grizzling noises until I've had coffee. Even Mischa is more coherent than I am!

    We've currently got a watered-down, more charismatic version of Romney and holy fucking hell he is assraping our long-run economic growth faster like it's the prettiest little bitch in the prison. If I ever meet him I'm challenging him to a game of slaps so I can go for the eyes.

    Our 'Occupy the Octagon' devolved into free-campers and stoners within a week. It was during the height of tourist season, too. So fucking stupid. DO SOMETHING THAT WORKS OR GO THE FUCK HOME.

    I get on with hippies about as well as I get on with bigots, fundamentalists and conservative extremists. (If someone is going to tell me what to do with my uterus they'd better be prepared for hell)

    The last time the govt here pissed around about the rabbit problem the farmers decided to do it on their own and got Calicivirus out there and saved the backbone of our economy. Now with this drought I think the current generation are going to do the same or pack up sticks and leave the country. I'm about ready to stomp up to Parliament and start putting bricks in their loo cisterns and unplugging the fucking spa pools.

    Oh, you don't wanna put wind farms on your hills but you wanna flood out our best fruit-growing realestate and historic sites with more hydro lakes? How about we just go snip the Cook Strait cable again, wankers?

    Screw sugar-coating. Whenever Greenpeace approach me, I tell them that I'm more of a Sea Shepherd kind of girl. The back off pretty fast after that.

    Come here and let's start recruiting for out mounted cavalry.


  12. Can't really start a revolution here in Canada. We're not as enthusiastic about things like you guys are.

    Even if we do have an asshat of a prime minister. I hate you Harper, I hope you're replaced soon.

  13. I'm with you on the whole starting a revolution but I do want to point out that even after the french revolution they put in power napoleon. So things really didn't change much. And in the late 60s into the 70s we had a bunch of social movements that demanded change and here we still are. Just food for thought.


    1. Yeah you're right about Napoleon, but in fairness the French probably didn't know how things would turn out as far as he was concerned...

      We made great changes in the 60's and 70's. That's kind of adding to my point. People wanted change and they changed things. There's no such thing as a perfect society, so changes will always need to be made again at some point down the road. And I think now might be that point...

  14. God damn. I typed out a big long comment and then swept my finger over the back button. It involved Mennonite s and being Canadian as reasons I couldn't be part of a revolution and agreeing that those dresses were the bomb diggity.

  15. thanks for your comment, coming from you it is massive compliment!! and i when i added your blog to my new blogrole and typed in its name, i wonder why you - out of everyone writes under the name s1ckb1tch you are one of the most reasonable around (here)...


    PS : at least I to meeeeeeee


We say whatever we want to whomever we want, at all times.