Tuesday, June 28, 2011

AND NOW for something completely different...

Here is the award I have created... A blogger-medal:
I love stories. (duh--writer.) So to kick off the new blogger award thingy, I am going to tell you all the story of Mich.


Mich arrived on this earth on September the 21st, 1984.


Prepare yourselves, for you may actually DIE from the epic cuteness.


Yes, I know--I was the cutest baby of all time. 


And Mum was super stylin' back in the 80's.


Mich did not grow hair until she was three years old.


My childhood was largely uneventful. Most of the time I was left to my own devices.
Age 2 - attempting to drink alcohol
Age 4 - I don't even know
There were some fun birthdays.
5th birthday - pony rides in the yard!
7th birthday - the year everyone had their party at the roller rink
There were summers spent in Ireland.


And vacations to Disneyworld.


That trip scarred everyone for life. Literally, in my case--I fell in the airport when we were going back home and cracked my head open. I got a free giant stuffed Shamu and 3 extra days in Florida, as well as a 3-hour wait in the emergency room and 6 stitches. Before that, my friend and I (we were 5) spent the week alternately being bff's and trying to kill each other. We had a massive kicking-and-screaming fight in the Sea World parking lot because I had insisted we sit in the splash zone, and J had not wanted to get wet. 


But the best night was when we all went out to Jungle Jim's. J and I discovered that every time our mothers ordered a mai tai, they got a little plastic animal. 


By the end of the night, J and I had 9 plastic animals. Each. 


Good times.


I can't find any fun photos from the mid-childhood years. So let's jump ahead to the Awkward Stage.
Mich and Little Sis, circa 1996.
That photo has made the rounds on Facebook like 20 times.


Here I am the night of the 8th grade "Social," age 13:
Mum chose that dress. I hated it.
I can't find any photos at all from age 14. That was the year I officially ditched Grunge for Goth, and discovered the joys of hallucinogens. By age 15, I think my spasticity was fully developed.
Yes, that's a Sailor Moon wand.
Fifteen was a rough year. I was doing A LOT of drugs. And I was in my second year of an all-girls Catholic high school (after 9 years in the Catholic grade school hellhole). I tried EVERYTHING to get Mum to let me go to the public high school. I tried failing my classes, being a Rebel, being an Extremely Angry Teenager..... Nothing worked. And it's pretty much impossible to get expelled from a private school because your parents are paying a lot of money for you to go there. 


So when I was 15, I chopped all my hair off and told my mother I was a lesbian. And that I had become a lesbian because I was in school with all girls. Mum was raised strict Irish-Catholic, so she was horrified.


I got to go to public school the following year.


Sweet 16 - best birthday cake ever:
I lost count of how many people were sneaking me alcohol. You can tell from the redness that I am quite drunk.


Because I didn't want to give Mum a stroke, I had to slowly ease out of being a lesbian. Hence the choice of cake and jewelry. 


I kind of calmed down with the drugs by the end of high school. I found a new drug in hair dye and makeup. 


I went through a different hair colour and style like every 6 months, for the next several years. I wish I had photos from college, but alas--I spent most of college either drunk, stoned, or behind a camera. This is how my hair looked right before I went blonde:
The Bettie Page phase.
There's not much interesting after that. :D


SO for the award--I'm going to give it to the last 8 commenters from the last post, because I like the number 8 and I want to make it fair. 
- Dani
Suldog
- Moonlight Mistress
- Cinnamon Brown
- All.That.Wander.Are.Not.Lost
- Eloise18
- Amber
- Ayden


I'd really love to hand out to all of you, but it seems like it's a bit more fun if you guys can pass it on. So you eight lovelies go and taketh yonder medal, and tell us a story--a true story, your story, a fictitious story, a hybrid true-fiction story... whatever the heck you want. Just tell a story. <3

28 comments:

  1. I adore this concept! And your story is rather lovely. Guess I love story time, as well. I congratulate you on your creativity in escaping catholic school! I was stuck in one for years.

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  2. And when you went blonde you never looked back?
    Wahhahahahaha on using the lesbian thing to get out of private school. I've always been in public school. I guess an all-girls school could be fun for a *real* lesbian :p
    (And what was that about sometimes being curious?)

    So that's your natural color....like a darker version of mine. Ah there's too many brunettes anyway. Hair dye forever!
    Love how even your very first pic your eyes made you recognizable. Mischievious intelligence spark. Cuuuuute
    Love the cake! And I did recognize the Sailor Moon wand haha awww.

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  3. I love the idea! Old childhood photos are the best, and it's fun to see them of people who you didn't k now when they were younger. You've had a very interesting life! You better write a memoir one day.

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  4. OMFG Mich you have confidence as bis a three elephants ! How can someone be able to show us pictures like that and then telling us that your body is ugly when it really isn't and having no confidence??

    well I wanted to say congrats for escaping catholic school, clever girl Mich knows nothing can horrify catholics more than homos. Well done :D
    Your sailormoon cake was awesome. The wand... well not so much in the picture but still epic. :D
    For me its strange to see a girl at the age of 14 or 15 being a fan of sailormoon since I'm about 10 years younger than you are I only knew little girls like me who loved it. :D

    Thanks for sharing these pictures with us, your story was great.

    xoxo<3

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  5. This was absolutely brilliant. I laughed the entire time :D

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  6. So cool to see a life in a post :)

    SAILOR MOON FTW!!!!!!!

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  7. Aw discovring hair dye and make-up, a stage for every style and color haha.

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  8. Ahahahah great life!
    I must say, I didn't have ANY hair up to 3 yrs old too! AWKIES in photos; AND i had a huge forehead... :D
    glad to see I relate :)

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  9. Seriously, every blog post I read of yours makes me think you're one of the coolest people I know. All my friends are booooring. :P But your stories are awesome. :)And I adore your ms paint pictures.

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  10. FECKING BRILLIANT!!! I love it, M.! I cannot believe how awesome your life is! You are so right, cutest damn baby ever! Check the dimples! AWWWW!!

    You look so different every time you change your hair! I'm deeply impressed! We're all going to have a hard time topping your story!

    Can't wait to get started on mine! Love you, Babe! <3. XXX.

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  11. Mich with was absolutely brilliant! I loved it! You're very creative! :) You were a really cute baby and an adorable little girl. I couldn't picture you being goth- I picture blonde and pink. So I guess your natural hair colour isn't blonde then :). Yes, hair dye and make-up are wonderful drugs of choice. Sailor Moon is the stuff- once I started to get into it, it went of the air :/. And thank you for the award! :D Now I'm going to have to drag out my baby book and dust-laden photo albums!

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  12. OBVIOUSLY an Epic Tale in the making!

    I think at age 4 you were obsessed with zombies or Thriller, whichever was more relevant at the time :p And 16? You were off your face!! Holy crap woman, do you still have a liver?!?

    *Shudders* You mother channeled Bowie while mine went for the curly afro-esque look. NEITHER were flattering in any way at all. Poor ladies :( Bad choices from bad options!

    Thank you so much for them comments <3 Lol, yup that sounds dirty, but it could be worse. If you've never google image searched 'Blue Waffle'
    only do it when you have a dire need to projectile vomit. Think free ticket to a day off work or an excuse to get out of a Horrendous Familial Socialization Trip. It is NASTY.

    There will be a video of the performance. I'm tossing up between Devilsticks and Poi right now, it will all depend on the song chosen. Poi need a flowy song and devilsticks are better for stop-starty ones with a good beat. Gah.

    That Babe clip made me start bawling. I'm crying at anything and everything atm! It was so cute! Man I have to get that movie out and watch it. Or buy it, it can go with the other 'Small Child Babysitting Assistance' titles on the shelf. (So far only numbering 6, 1/3rd of which are Studio Ghibli)

    I've got packages to be sent piling up here. I really need to budget my ass off so I can get them on their way. Yours has some of the wonderful 'Knitters Hand Cream' from Knitworld to help heal up your poor winter-abused mitts :) By the time I get the cash to send it it will probably be winter on your end again! :x

    I hope you're having a good week. I'm going to go giggle at the Thriller-Toddler a bit more before slogging on through more baby gear. Whoopee!

    xoxoxoxo

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  13. Brilliant, as usual. You totally eased the heat wave that is corroding my whole insides and soul!
    I do not have any pics of myself as a teen either...and we share the goth/play with numerous dye colors moment as well...
    is it just for a few selected members of mankind or is it common?

    In one word: Priceless Post.

    Hugs, Fairy Lady
    <3

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  14. Thanks so much for this most awesome award! I promise to post my story as soon as I can upload some cool old pics of myself....hehe. This is going to be fun!


    ~MLM

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  15. Ah, I love this idea.

    And you were adorable as a small child!

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  16. That was epic, I adore reading your blog. Thank you for being you and please never ever stop!

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  17. Hey, Muffin!

    Not sure if this is your thing, but do take a peek. It's the same artist's website! Why are all the good ones gay?!

    http://www.kaffefassett.com/Home.html

    Snorgles! <3. XXX.

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  18. omg yay story i will do mine later idk ifi have ne pics i will try and find them idk might shock ppl though i was a premmie dont wanna scare ya

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  19. Merci!!!
    I'm not gonna lie, you are A LOT more attractive now than your early teens..!
    I need to find photos... damn lack of digital in the 90's! x

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  20. Seriously excellent post. I especially like the one with the birthday cake. Tell you're drunk by the redness? Your eyes are drunk enough for three people!

    Anyway, you know what I do with awards and the people who bestow them, right? Just so we're clear before I begin...

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  21. Love all the photos. You have the most amazing blog! Btw, I posted the recipe and a photo of my homemade bread
    xx

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  22. I love your picture-filled life story. I love knowing everybody's personal stories. You were too cute as a kiddo, seriously. I loved donkeys too.

    I am so glad you still read my blog. I was afraid you'd all hate me for going and coming and going and coming back again.

    Oh and, no, I don't want to meet that guy, and i won't. I'm taking your advice and just ignoring him.

    x post more pics soon! I must see more of your life.

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  23. Just so you know, this will be happening later this week, perhaps Thursday (but definitely by Friday.) Hope you enjoy the torture! :-)

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  24. Being something of a masochist, I shall enjoy any and all tortures you might like to throw at me.

    Better not disappoint. <3

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  25. The desecration of your being is done :-)

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  26. Rough ride. I like this post because of the pictures. After the obsolescence of film cameras (or at least in practical purposes), I don't have a decent picture from my fifth grade up to now.

    Is it just me or you deliberately erased/painted over a person seated beside you at the second to the last picture?

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