Oh, come on Donny, they were threatening castration! Are we gonna split hairs here? Am I wrong?

...Does anyone know what happened to Mona? Her blog--Shaking/Waking (formerly She Smiles With Me)--is gone again. :(






Earlier this week, Boss and I discussing one of the many child custody battles with which we're dealing:

Me: "Who's she married to, again?"

Boss: "Some Chinaman."

Me: ....... "Dude, Chinaman is not the preferred nomenclature. Asian-American, please."

Boss: ......... "Fuck it, Dude, let's go bowling."

That was probably the highlight of my week.

Guess who's not sleeping again?

-____-

It started out awesome, with the acupuncture. And then it slowly stopped working. After like 2 and a half weeks, I began taking longer and longer to fall asleep, waking up more and more during the night, and then beginning last week (or maybe halfway through the week before? it's tough to keep track of time when you don't sleep that much) I stopped sleeping altogether. So I'm back on the diphenhydramine. And the occasional Jameson or Bailey's nightcap to make it work faster.

Oh yeah, and the nightmares. SCREW YOU, BRAIN. WHHHYYYYYYYYYY must you torment me with blood-&-gore fests?? Epic warfare in the middle of the Armageddon? Dream-bingeing?? And let's not even talk about the people who keep showing up in my dreams, night after mother-effing night. I'M GOING TO STAB MY SUBCONSCIOUS WITH AN ICE PICK.

Food-wise, this week has also been a disaster. To steal a phrase from a friend, I have fallen off the recovery wagon and been run over by it.

ED roadkill. I have not eaten in 4 days, save for the occasional cup-a-soup (50 cals),

which takes me 2+ hours to consume; and sips of protein shake when I feel faint. (I'd say 5 days of no eating, but I had a handful of pretzels on Monday afternoon [140 cals]). And I've been exercising off more than what I'm consuming. Ephedrine is a miracle-worker.

FML.

But my size 0 work trousers are fitting a bit more loosely, so at least I can take comfort in that. I nearly sliced open my brachial artery when I came back from the shore and discovered I had to wear the size 2's to be comfortable. (Express's editor trousers are more true to size than their jeans...)

In more positive news, I finally finished typing and proofreading the 1st major edit of the 3rd book in my pirate/adventure series. The fairy book is still crawling along at .00000000000001 kph, but I am determined to finish it before Christmas. 

Oh, yeah--Christmas. That scares the holy hell out of me this year. None of our relatives are coming out from abroad this year. And Cousin Lisa--who always used to do every family and holiday related thing with us at our house--is still stuck in Florida trying to sell her house. Big Sis#2 always ditches Mum and me for Dad. We can't go home to Ireland like we always used to because now that Granny is dead, there's no home to go to. 

Mum's idea to go away somewhere and pretend Christmas isn't happening is starting to appeal to me. But then again, if my Christmas Spirit dies, I'm not sure what that's going to do to my psyche. I just want a house full of people for Christmas. :( 

......anyone out there in the NY/NJ area? Want to come for Christmas??

I feel like I'm fading away. Like a light, getting dimmer and dimmer until it finally goes out. 

When life gets you down, play dress-up.

TSIF!

Where can a dead man go? A question with an answer only dead men know.

I don't understand why coughing fits seem to only occur at the most inappropriate moments. Like when you're in the middle of class, and everyone is silently paying attention to the teacher. Or when you're on the phone with a Judge. Or trying to hand your license and registration over to a state trooper. Or trying to work out at the gym.  


All of a sudden, it feels like something clamps down on your throat. You try to not cough, because you don't want to draw attention to yourself. But that only makes it worse, and you end up having an Epic Coughing Fit instead of just a normal one. 


Sometimes I wonder if perhaps I'm possessed. 


Yesterday, whilst getting ready for bed/getting my tea & vitties ready for the morn, I had a coughing fit in the middle of the kitchen. It came out of nowhere. 

The time between that first tickle at the back of the throat to full on holy-crap-I-can't-breathe coughing fit was like .000001 seconds. 

(The cats get freaked out by coughing fits. Almost as freaked out as they get from sneezes.)

I think I spent a sold two minutes flailing around the kitchen trying to cough and catch my breath. And after a while, I realized that it felt like there was actually something stuck in my throat. 

A solid something. And I hadn't eaten in several hours, so I felt a bit confused as to what it could be, to say the least. 


After much hacking that probably could have been heard by anyone within a half mile, I managed to hock up whatever it was, and get a good look at it. 

A feather. 


A pretty decent-sized feather. Like not one of those little down feathers that come out of pillows and comforters. A full-sized bird's feather. 


I shall add this to the list of Completely Inexplicable Things I'd Rather Forget. 


...


Don't have much else to report, I'm afraid. I'd say I feel fat, but we already know that. It's not going away. 


To catch up on some anonymous comments:


Anon#1 from the last post--yes, I do love my Latin Bible. I taught myself Latin using a combination of that, a Bible in English, and religious music from the Renaissance. 


Anon#2 from the last post: Thanks for the lovely comment! I DID write a book. It's not really writings like the blog, but it's fun nonetheless. :D You can read the beginning on my other site. 


Hydra: You are always welcome to post comments! <3 And I might consider a Part 2 of that animal behaviour post, as I thought of some other things after I wrote it...


Anon#1 from the animal post: Yes, the cat puffing up was actually one of the things I thought of after I posted. And I'm glad other people think of those things as well!! :)


Anon#! from the vampire post - hoped you liked Slipstream!


ArachneMort: You've got a point about HP. As much as I LOVE the Harry Potter series, I feel like it has caused a lot of books and authors to be unfairly compared to HP and Rowling. 


SpookysDarling: I think we should keep our dreams of writing our own vampire stories alive. I've actually just started work on one last week. One of the books I've been working on for AGES woke me up in the middle of the night and it was like BAM EPIPHANY!!! Now it's a vampire story. 


Hope I didn't miss anyone. Yell at me if I did!


<3