Hideous Cars Episode 3, and some long whingeing

 Look out folks, a new grill just dropped.

The Mouth of Sauron.

I realised I totally forgot to post this last time. Please, dear readers, look at this and tell me you do not see an anime laughing face.

It's literally this.

How can anyone take this car seriously?

So one issue I've had recently is cars like Porsche and Maserati making SUVs. 

WHAT IN THE EVERLOVING FUCK is the point of getting a Maserati if you're going to go with a SUV??

But those do not even hold a candle to the unholy behemoth I saw the other day.

THAT IS AN ABOMINATION IN THE EYES OF THE LORD.

First of all, no self respecting aristocrat drives their own Bentley. That's almost as bad as people who drive their own Rolls Royce. If you drive it because you work weddings, fine. If you're driving the Rolls that you bought to show off how much money you have, you're doing it WRONG. You're a poser and utterly uncultured. 

In other news, my dearest Prius C, Gyr (pronounced "grr") has departed this life. That car has survived attacks from others cars and a deer. "Car destroyed by the ocean" was definitely not on my bingo card for potential life disasters, but here I am. 

So on Wednesday evening, I went down to Long Beach Island, New Jersey with my parents, Lil Bros 1 and 2, and soon-to-be-SIL for a long weekend. Yeah we saw the coastal flood warnings, but we're regular visitors of LBI. We've been going there for decades, we've weathered the floods that often hit the Island, so we thought it'll be fiiiiiine, yeah it's not beach weather but we can still have a nice long weekend together.

Y'ALL

It was not fine.

I have never seen flooding like that on LBI since Hurricane Sandy. We were stranded in stepmom's cousin's house for 3 days. The street was underwater starting in the wee hours of Saturday morning, and it did not recede enough to drive out until Sunday night. My parents' SUV and my brother's Subaru only had water up to just barely below their baseboards.

My Gyr? Seawater got into the car, and into the hybrid battery. Car is fucked. My baby Gyr, who I've driven since 2015 for 375,000 miles, was destroyed by the ocean. 

Whatever money my insurance gives me will not come even close enough to buy a used car. So I, at age 43, have to go begging my dad and stepmom for money to help me buy another car.

I know I am incredibly lucky that I have parents who not only have the money to spare but are willing to give it to me, but I hate that I have to ask them for so much. My other options are.... nothing. I have no savings and don't earn enough to put money into savings. I live in the US, I make barely enough to live as a FUCKING PARALEGAL because rent is so insanely expensive, and I have no assets. I will never be able to afford to stop working full time or ever buy a house. I am barely surviving largely because I have $15,000+ in debt from a combo of medical and auto emergencies that insurance wouldn't cover.

It took a huge amount of restraint for me, Sunday night, not to walk to the end of the road and just dive into the ocean. I thought about it. I REALLY thought about it. But I have 2 cats who need me, and both are "special needs" enough that I don't trust anyone else to take care of them. If that's a stupid reason to want to keep living I don't care.

Those 2 assholes didn't even give me a happy welcome home, they just ran under the bed.

Ugh.

If you've kept reading this far, thanks. I hope you're having a much better time than I am.

In the end you’re either making this world a worse place, or a better one.

It’s that fucking simple. 

You support a system that gives giant tax cuts to the uber-wealthy at the expense of the rest of us? You are making the world worse.

You support a government that does literally nothing but blatant corruption, and lies to the people about it? You’re making the world worse.

You support cutting off all aid to those in need of food, shelter, medicine, etc in other places in the world because that’s “not our problem”, AND in your own country? You are making the world worse.

You support allowing innocent civilians to be terrorised, raped, sold, murdered, starved, bombed, families torn asunder, etc etc etc? You are making the world worse. 

You believe in denying essential healthcare like cancer screenings, support during pregnancy, and medical care to those having miscarriages JUST SO ABORTIONS ARE STOPPED? You are MAKING THE WORLD WORSE.

You support all of the above and claim to be a “Christian”? Not only are you making the world worse, you are a fucking hypocrite of the highest order. Jesus would have thrown tables and run you out of the temple in a rage. Honestly at this point, American “Christianity” is a joke. It bears ZERO RESEMBLANCE to the actual teachings of Christ, and has more similarities to mental illness. It’s a cult of narcissism and sociopathy, fuelled by hate and greed. I cannot even properly articulate my disgust with it. 

It’s enough to make me want to just give up, but that is what the powers that be want. They want to drown us in awfulness, make us feel so overwhelmed, so hopeless, that we do nothing.

BUT. WE. CAN. NOT. DO. NOTHING.

Never stop fighting. Never stop asking questions and demanding answers. And NEVER EVER FORGET every single atrocity that has been done since the convicted felon convicted rapist business failure giant con-artist pedo Epstein bff and all around piece of shit took office. Never forget how our Scumbag In Chief destroyed this country, destroyed our economy, our relationships with all of our allies, and democracy itself. 

Historians will not look kindly on this chapter of the US. 

Be loud. Be ungovernable. Be DECENT HUMAN BEINGS; it is more powerful than you know. 

Sorry for the rant. I’m just so sickened and disgusted at this point, I need to scream into the void. 

Today was a tragic day.

 So yes, the agents of Satan currently running the US government are driving us head on into WW3. Fuel prices are the highest they have ever been. And the evil powers that be continue to protect everyone involved in the Epstein Child Rape Party. 

The sad thing is, we living in US are so used to this now, that nothing will be done to fix it. And by fix it I mean we need to French Revolution this government. Anyone who still supports it is evil, and without a shred of decency. 

HOWEVER that is not the tragedy of which I speak. 

Today, Tottenham Hotspur lost to Sunderland. That put Tottenham Hotspur in 18th place in the Premier League. Which means RELEGATION. 

If the Spurs cannot get their shit together and get back into 17th place, then next season they will no longer be playing in the Premier League. 

Today sucks. 

A message from a REAL law enforcement officer.

 

Halloween Horror Movie Hoe-Down 2025 pt. 2

 Since I didn’t get a chance to properly do some horror movie posts, we’ll just have to rush through all movies but one.

A pretty good number of excellent horror films came out this year.

Bring Her Back - I think their prior horror flick (Talk To Me) was miles better, but this was still a wonderfully executed piece of horror.

Weapons - Have to admit I was disappointed with this one, since I really loved their film prior “Barbarian.” Weapons fell flat.

The Ugly Stepsister - this film was EXCELLENT, but the ending made me want to lobotomise myself.


ON TO THE MAIN EVENT:

Sinners. 

 

Possibly one of if not the best horror movies to come out in a decade. I have but one complaint.

The vampires were entirely unnecessary. The underlying story of Black people in the South in the 1930s trying to create a life, and a space for themselves is compelling enough, and the white supremacists are terrifying enough as a villains—the film doesn’t need any added evil villains. But in general, 10/10 good movie.

Enjoy your Halloween y'all. <3

Horror Movie Hoe-Down 2025

 First off, to the lovely individual who attempted to comment white supremacist christofascist propaganda on my last post, you can forward any future complaints about the contents of my blog to garglemyballs666@eatmyass.com.

It’s October and that means SpOoKy TiMe!!! As I did a few years ago, this year I’m starting another Halloween Horror Movie Hoe-Down.

For the first episode, I’m going to share some not-as-current horror films that are truly excellent.

Not a lot of movies have ever actually scared me. The reason Event Horizon is one of my favourite films of all time (and one of my “comfort films”) is because it actually freaked me the fuck out the first time I saw it in the cinema. So naturally I saw it 2 more times in the cinema.

I covered the first Hell House LLC movie in my last Horror Movie Hoe-Down. I include it again here, because all of its sequels/spin-offs are also well worth a watch. 

 

Generally I do not like found footage type movies, but these films are just excellent in every sense. Great jump scares, and a genuine creep factor that basically makes most of the films feel like one giant anxiety attack—which to me are A++ marks of good horror.


As Above So Below - Another found footage horror, and just as jump-scary and anxiety inducing as the Hell House LLC films. If you watch horror films because you truly want to be scared, give this one a watch.

Here’s some absolutely epic metal. Play at maximum volume.

An open message to "Christians" like my parents.

 If you support the current administration, you cannot also follow Christ.

You can call yourself a Christian all you want, but at this point in America, “Christian” bears little to no resemblance to the actual teachings of Christ.

The current powers that be are literally doing the opposite of everything Jesus taught. There is no grey area here. These people lie and cheat and steal. They believe in taking from the poor and denying care to the sick. They believe in intolerance for anyone who is considered “other.” They believe in letting women die rather than give them access to essential healthcare. And if you think any of them are actually followers of Christ, you are fucking delusional.

These people are evil. If you support them, you support evil, and you are complicit in its takeover of this country. If you think you’re a good person, news flash: you are absolutely not. You support the deaths of children by school shooters. You support violence against the LBGTQ community. You support people who say we should just murder homeless people. You support people who openly display their white supremacist tattoos. You support people who want to throw anyone not-white into torture prisons in El Salvador with zero due process.

Pull your head out of your asses. You are shit people, and if hell was real, you’ve already got a one way ticket. You can quote bible verses until you’re blue in the face, but you’re nothing more than a parrot. It means absolutely NOTHING if you are not also doing good works. 

Sorry y'all, but I really needed to get this out.

Men are weird.

 I’m still laughing my arse off over this.

So I live in an old farmhouse (original foundation dates back to the early 1700s, current house was finished in the 1820’s) that has been divided up into 5 apartments. All us neighbours get along very well. We have a big front porch on which I have set up an outdoor sofa on one side. I also put up a nice curtain to shade the sofa from the sun, as it is west facing and I like to sit and read outside in the evenings. I hadn’t accounted for wind, so after a recent windy day, I bought some tablecloth weights to keep the curtain from slapping me about the face while I’m trying to read.

(these weights, to be precise.)

Hereinafter I’ll use initials for the neighbours.

So the other night we had a bit of a windy thunderstorm, and one of the weights blew off, unbeknownst to me. The next day, 2 of my neighbours (both men, R and J) found it beside another neighbour’s (a woman, D)’s car. They speculated over what on earth it was for about 20 seconds before deciding OMG IT’S A NIPPLE CLAMP.

-__-


Now since they found it beside D’s car, they didn’t know what to do. They did not want to embarrass her, nor make her feel judged—neither of them felt inclined to judge someone else’s kink preferences. But they also didn’t know how to tactfully make sure it was returned to her, so J went to ask his wife (A) for advice.

After she nearly died laughing, A tried to explain to J what it was. He did not believe her. At first he felt certain that she was just trying to cover for D. So he went running upstairs to confer with R and get a second opinion from R’s girlfriend L. L also nearly died laughing.

Despite both A and L telling them that it was a tablecloth weight, and definitely not a nipple clamp, R and J still refused to believe it.

I was at work while all of this was happening.

Eventually all 4 agreed to disagree and went about their day. A couple hours later, the wind picks up again, and while R and J were outside working on one of the many muscle cars R hoards in the garage, they hear a weird banging noise coming from the porch. They thought an animal had gotten stuck in one of the rubbish bins, so they approached cautiously. And discovered that the other tablecloth weight, still attached to my curtain, had blown over the porch railing and was rattling against the railing and the house wall.

J picked it up to get a better look and realised it was identical to the “nipple clamp.”

I got home about an hour after that, to find my curtain tied to one of the porch railings, and the escaped weight left on my sofa. I didn’t think anything of it until I got outside with my book and L came bursting out of her apartment to tell me about the whole thing.

Like really? You see that and first thing you assume is a nipple clamp???

Y'all dudes are strange sometimes.

You look just like a martyr; you act just like a thief.

 Yeah I know I said I was going to try and focus on the positive/happy/funny things in life, but after a conversation I had with someone today, I really really just need to vent about this. And it's something that needs to be said.

Violence against women has thankfully over the last odd years become a topic that actually gets addressed, and we’ve made some small strides in acknowledging how pervasive it is. But it’s still not acknowledged enough.

Let’s talk about how much sexual violence the average modern woman has to endure.

My parents used to throw some wild parties. It was the 1980s—wild coke fueled parties were the norm. Dad moved out of the house when I was 2, but mum continued to throw said parties.

I remember these parties. Me and the small children of mum’s friends would be left to just wander around until it was decided we should be put to bed. The other kids would be settled down in Older Sis#1’s room, as by that point she had fecked off back to England and never looked back.

I asked mum about this many years back, but when I described the man and said I thought his name was “Vinny,” mum claimed to know of no such person at her parties back then.

I remember him. Or at least, I remember his face. This man would come into my bedroom late at night during these parties. I remember him being there, and I remember dreading him being there. I remember other things I really don’t want to put to words, but beyond that the memories get fuzzy. My brain just doing its job in erasing the most traumatic parts I guess. Mum still denies any such person existed, but when I first gave her a detailed description of him while describing to her what he did, her face betrayed her—she definitely knew who I was talking about.

In high school, I spent as many weekends as I could at friends’ houses. I feel like I should have known better than to go to this one party, but I was 14, my life at home was hell, I was doing a lot of mind altering drugs, and really just wanted to party with my friends (anything that did not involve enduring my home was fun as far as I was concerned). Clem’s dad was a cop, but for some reason had no problem letting his daughter throw parties in the lower level of their split-level home.

At one point late into the party I needed the loo, but someone was puking in the downstairs bathroom. So I went upstairs to use that bathroom instead. When I left the bathroom to head back downstairs, he grabbed me from behind, lifted me off the ground, and dragged me into a dark upstairs room.

I was still off my face on acid at that point, so while it made my level of fear amplified 500x, it also dulled my perception of what was happening. My memories of the actual rape itself are fuzzy, almost like the memories of a vivid dream—something horrible was happening, but my brain could not focus on exactly what it was. Honestly I am forever thankful for that.

[Remember my Kevin Bacon phobia? This is the source, Resemblance was uncanny.]

Obviously I couldn’t report it. I was a delinquent teenager and had been on drugs. Who the fuck would believe me if I accused a cop of rape? Even if anyone did believe me, my status as a delinquent kid made it a certainty that no one would support me. So I did nothing, other than never go to a party there again.

In my mid-20s, Big Sis#2 set me up with her co-worker. As a result we became friends, though we never actually dated (Paul #2, mentioned a few times here over the years). One time I was at a party at his house, and one of his friends started aggressively hitting on me. I made it known I was not interested, but dude did not take the hint. He kept bringing me beers, making sure I never was without a beverage.

I had a pretty solid tolerance for beer at that point in my life. But after my third Bud Light, (*I know, I’m not proud of that) I started to feel absolutely FUCKING WASTED. And nauseous. Dude stayed with me the whole time, even held my hair when, about 20 minute later, I was vomiting into the shrubbery in the back garden. The last thing I remember is dude holding my arm while we walked back into the house. Everything goes black after that.

Just before dawn the next morning, I woke up on the floor of the empty room that Paul#2 and his roommates were currently attempting to rent.

Awoke on a hard wood floor. Cold. Completely alone. And completely naked. Physically, I felt as if I had been hit by a truck. Mentally? I didn’t know what to think.

So many people—some of whom I had thought of as friends—saw me in the obviously fecked condition i was in and never stopped and checked that I was ok. I never spoke to Paul#2 again, nor to any of his friends. And he never reached out to me after that. He knew exactly what his dude friend did, and he chose to both not stop it, but also not call him out on it.

So many women I know have multiple stories like mine. SO MANY. Why does that not cause absolute outrage??!??

You want to know why most of us would choose the bear? I would LITERALLY RATHER DIE than go through rape again. It is the worst thing that one human can do to another. It is worse than torture or death.

This is why the #notallmen crowd piss me off so much. We’re not fucking morons - we all know it’s not all men. But it’s enough of you that we have to assume it’s all men just to survive. If you immediately jump on the not all men defense, you’re just as bad as the people who blame the victims of sexual assault. You’re part of the problem, because you’re refusing to acknowledge the problem and instead focus on how it negatively affects men. 

ugh I need a xanax

Car Designs are Getting Out of Control.

 

 I had thought cars reached peak ugliness back in 2017, but hoooooo boy was I wrong.

 Seriously, what is happening at these companies when the design team gets together to finalise a new car? How is this happening??

Like you know exactly what this new BMW needs? A CAMELTOE. 

Right on the front.  

How about a new pickup truck? Maybe we should make the front look like it overdosed on steroids, so it's impossible to see what's directly in front of you while you're driving. Sound good?

 

OF COURSE IT DOES. Manly men need it HUGE. None of this woke shit like safety. 

But that grill is not NEARLY good enough. How about a cheese grater?

 

No..? You need more?

THEN YOU NEED A CHAIN LINK FENCE.

 

Someone tell this Lexus its mascara is running. 

 

 Every time I think I've seen the ugliest car that ever existed, some new monstrosity drives past me on my commute. Don't even get me bloody started on the stupid Tesla Techno Van.

 Hope you have a good weekend, y'all.

 

When the Crawling Chaos gets here, this party's gonna go insane.

Trying to get back into the blog because my therapist said it might be good for me. So.

The last year+ has been ….. a lot. I don’t even really remember the first few months after Mikey (M.) died. I have never suffered such a loss as this. It’s still devastating. There is a giant hole in my life and my heart. There is no one else in my life who I can tell literally anything and everything. There are thoughts and feelings that I can’t let out because he’s gone. Maybe that’s why my shrink thinks I should start blogging again.

I turned 40 in September, and the day before my birthday, I found out that Ivy had an untreatable tumour in her abdomen. A rapidly growing one, based on its size and the fact that the vet detected no sign of anything off at Ivy’s annual check up in February. They put her on steroids, to make her feel better and just give her more time. I thought “more time” would be more than just a month, but after a few weeks of Ivy getting almost back to her old self, she suddenly deteriorated over the course of a few days and I made the choice to let her go in late October.

It hurt just as much as losing Mikey. My tubby and formerly robust little asshole was suddenly gone.

And then in November democracy in the US went fuckitty-bye, and I’ve just been in kind of a haze since then.

BUT in coming back here, I’m going to try and focus on the good things and the funny things. I’ve got some comics lined up and a few ideas for some more. I’ve also perfected my granny’s traditional English Steak & Ale Pie recipe, so I’ll post that soon as well.

In the meantime I’m going to catch up on the blogs of those of you who are still here.

Keep fighting the good fight, my friends.

The Christmas decorations are still staying up.

So unleash the virus, let the radiation spread. We'll find peace and happiness as soon as we're all dead.

 I don't even know where to fucking start, I just need to scream.

What the fuck, America?? 

The atrocities are coming daily. The worst possible scenario is no longer a potential danger, it is fucking here. And half of you actually voted for this.

Two of my closest friends voted for this. My fucking parents voted for this. They fell hook line and sinker for easily refutable sensationalist garbage that is allowed to present itself as "news."

If you voted for this, do me a favour and fuck straight off to hell, and never darken this blog's doorstep with your presence again. You chose fascism. You chose the oligarchy. You're either a bigot or too stupid to be allowed to vote. 

This is not about politics anymore. This is about good vs. evil. Evil is winning and no one is even trying to rise up against it. Because how can we? What can we possibly do when so many of our neighbours are rabid for the blood of their supposed enemies, and our elected officials sit around with their heads up their asses? 

I don't have answers, I just have this: Take care of each other. You don't believe in the whole "trans thing"? Fine. Whatever. That doesn't mean you can't treat trans people like PEOPLE. The same for any people who are not exactly like you. Kindness costs nothing. 

I'd like to get the fuck out of this country, but I don't have the means to do so. Also, I love it here. I don't really want to leave just because the orange antichrist and the space nazi have taken over. I want to fight for what I have, but I don't know how. I want to stand up against this nonsense, but I don't know how.

 aaaaaaaaand I'm out of air and energy. If I survive the next four years without accidentally overdosing on something, I will be amazed.

I just need to yell into the void

 My best friend in the world, Mikey (known on this blog simply as M.) died yesterday. 

We're not sure yet if it was an accidental overdose or his heart just gave out, or a combo of both. He died in his sleep in the wee hours of Thursday morning. 

I'm still in shock kind of. Like it's hit me, but it also hasn't. My brain cannot accept the fact of a world that does not include Mikey. We were soul mates. We were supposed to grow old together, become those scary old hags in the creepy house at the edge of town with a ton of cats.

But now he's gone. I feel like part of myself is gone as well. He's been my best friend since like 1999. I've told him things about my life that I could never tell anyone else, and vice versa. He was the one person I loved and trusted most in the world. I know I'm lucky to have had a relationship like that; it's not something everyone gets to experience. But this loss is truly shaking me to my core.

So I just needed to vent this somewhere. 

I truly hope anyone of you still reading are doing well, and enjoying the holiday season.

State of the Blog Address .....again

 

It's been over six months since I vanished without explanation. I'll probably do that again in the near future, but for the moment, I have returned. Idk if anyone is still out there reading at this point. It's been that kind of year. 

 

2021 got off to an interesting start. I spent a week in January confined to a psych ward following a suicide attempt, and am still under constant supervision. M has been living with me since they let me out of the Home for the Bewildered and miraculously, I have not attempted to kill him yet.  It has actually been kind of nice having someone staying with me. I'm also on all new medications and am no longer suicidal. My family is monitoring my every move, and you never knew how many good friends you have until you almost died.

Bossman's wild weekends with his various girlfriends finally landed him bedridden with Covid-19. Even if the social worker had not ordered me to ease slowly back into full time employment, I would probably be working part time because there is NOTHIIIIINNNNNGG to do at the office. 

Baby Yoda has somehow amassed nearly 500 followers on Instagram. 

Am I officially an influenzaer now?

This is still a weird time for me. It feels like it will take a long time to feel normal, like a person again. Big Sis#2 still wakes up in the middle of the night screaming because she was the one who found me in a pool of blood in my living room. That's my fault. I did that to her. I traumatized her. I will never not feel horrible about that. I will never not feel horrible about making my mothers and father cry. About giving my siblings the fright of a lifetime. 

My cats are treating me like the worthless minimum wage employee I am (as far as they're concerned) for leaving them alone with M and the combined forces of StepMom and Mum for a week. 

Until next time, when I may or may not explain how a mothertrucking CAT was basically the start and end of the above events. 

 

You probably don’t remember this, but a week ago, I shot your bear and punched you.

Sooooooo back in November I pre-ordered a Baby Yoda/The Child from the Disney shop the second it became available to pre-order. I did not receive it until May,* by which point I had more or less forgotten that I pre-ordered Baby Yoda to begin with.  

He arrived hidden amongst the other boxes of office supplies that were dropped outside the office that day. When I opened that box and found THE CHILD, both Bossman and I lost approximately 45 minutes of productive work time. Mostly posing Baby Yoda in various spots in our new office. 

Because I am a normal grown ass adult, I naturally have turned my instagram account into a Baby Yoda mommy blog. It started out as a funny idea a friend and I had to troll all the so-called influencers. But

Y'ALL

I'm pretty sure every single person who now has their Baby Yoda has started up an instagram account. It's absurd. I love it. 

Here's a photo of Baby the day he came home.

Also my hair is now purple

I can colour my hair no problem, but I'm waaaayyyyy too nervous to lighten it on my own. So with no more salon appointments, the only other option was to dye my hair purple. 

Follow @caelesto on insta to see just how much of my mind I have lost. 




















*The fact that Disney could not foresee the global phenomenon of a Baby Yoda blows my mind.

And then a video surfaced of a black man having police called on him by the grand wizard of the Ku Klux Karens

Three times, during my high school and college years, I had this experience: 

I was walking around town with a friend, in broad daylight, both of us chatting and laughing and clearly enjoying each other's company. And then a police car pulls up to the curb and the cop rolls his window down to ask me if I'm ok. 

Extremely confused--the first time--I was like, "......yeah?"

Not until he drove away did I fully comprehend what had just happened. 

My friend was black. 

The second time, I got mad. 

Same exact scene--me and my friend/old roommate trying to enjoy a nice day walking around Philly, cop pulls up, and asks me if I'm ok. 

I was pissed. I responded, "Am I ok? Why do you ask?" I paused for half a second to give him the impression that I expected an answer, but then answered for him, indicating my friend. "It's because he's black, right?"

The cop went immediately on the defensively offensive, muttering BS about "just doing my job" and this whole time my poor friend was getting more and more distraught until he was basically cowering behind me and begging ME to stop, to just leave it alone, he didn't want trouble with a white cop because--SHOCKING, I know--this wasn't his first such run-in with a cop. 

So I told the cop to piss off in the politest way I could manage. The third time this happened, it was with that same friend. Out of respect for his feelings and his desire to not get shot for no reason other than being black while hanging out with a white woman, I tried to keep my temper in check, although I made it very clear to that cop that he ought to reconsider his profession because he clearly had some issues with people of colour. 


I have more stories similar to this than I care to remember. But here's one that still sticks out in my memory:


A few years ago, one Sunday after church, Lil Bro#2 and I took my friend's 2 daughters junk shop-hopping for the afternoon, as friend had looked very tired and had admitted to having a rough week at work. So I said we'll entertain the girls, grab them some dinner, and bring them home later so you can have the day to yourself.

(This was before the girls entered their teens, and thus still viewed me as incredibly cool and not just Old.) 

Lil Bro#2 and I first stopped at one of our favourite junk shops, and told the girls to let us know if they found anything they liked. One found a doll bed the perfect size for her American Girl Doll, the other found a 35mm camera that appeared in good condition, so we spent a grand total of $10 and both girls claimed they had an amazing time with us. 

A couple weeks later, Lil Bro#2 and I returned to that same shop. We'd been going there for the better part of a year at that point, and were pretty friendly with the two guys who owned the place, so we usually ended up chatting with them for a bit. 

That particular day, one of the owner asked me, "Where's your menagerie? That some kind of inner city outreach thing?"

His exact words. I will never ever forget them. (Did I mention my friend and her daughters are black?)

I had a moment of stunned silence. Then said something along the lines of "those are my friend's kids, they live in Warwick."

We did not return to that shop again, and a few weeks later it ended up getting sold. Now it's a combo farmer's market and junk shop I think. Good riddance.


BLACK

LIVES

MATTER

Yes, in a perfect world, all lives matter. But this is not about that. This is about a very very real problem. So as far as I'm concerned, anyone touting #allivesmatter can SHOVE IT up their ass. 

Now some more bad news:

I'd rather take a bath with a shark.

Sometimes we hurt our pets without meaning to. The good news is (and I forget where I read this, so you'll just have to trust me) is that when you freak out and make a fuss of them afterwards, you dog or cat actually understands that you're saying sorry. Apparently, animals do this to each other when they're young, if their rough housing gets too rough and one gets hurt, the other will apologise with cuddles or something.  

I try, I really do. But cats are all on a personal mission to trip you over as many times as possible. With smaller cats, this can be very stressful.

Like with Harleyquinn and Eleven, for example.

They are both very smol, and thus tripping over one of them often results in kicking them across the room.  

And then panicking and feeling wracked with guilt.

 Tripping over Ivy?

Not so much with the guilt.

 

Gyr is not home yet. Now they're saying the end of this week. 

I JUST WANT MY MF CAR BACK FOR FECK'S SAKE IT'S BEEN ALMOST TWO MONTHS.

 Also found out today I have a torn labrum and torn hamstring in the left leg. My orthopaedist can now be added to the list of people who think I'm a witch. He could not understand how I betray absolutely no outward signs that I am in fucking excruciating pain pretty much all the time.

I have informed Bossman that he will be purchasing me a giant beanbag chair for my desk because regular chairs are now my enemy. 




 

Pro tip of the day: screen your calls when you’re trying to burn a body.

YOU GUUUUUYYYYSSSSSSSS

Harry Kane is laid up with an injury for at least THREE MONTHS. Tottenham Hotspur is FINISHED. The English national team is FINISHED. 

It was bad enough we lost Hugo Lloris to a horrific injury. His goalkeeping skills are so good, we all turned a blind eye to his being....... 

....
......:::shudders:::...
..

.......

...French.

The English and the French have a very strange relationship. Like we don't ACTUALLY hate each other, it's just a mutual arch nemesis relationship that goes back to when people first settled in what is now France and Britton. I grew up in this mindset, so maybe that's why I never understand why people get all uppity when the French and the English have a savage go at each other. 

But because people looooooooovvee feeling offended, someone tried to start an internet fight with me on Reddit after I made a clearly in jest comment about hating the bloody French. Turned out alright though, as an English person and a French person stepped in to try and explain that we don't really mean it*.

Stepmom has been in my life since I was 4 years old. Thus she has had 30+ years to observe and understand Dad's extreme Britishness. But for some reason, whenever me and the sibs and Dad start ranting about the French, Stepmom just gets confused into stunned silence. 

Or occasionally, "What is the issue with French people?!? Do any of you even know a French person?!?!?"

MOM SERIOUSLY that's not the point.

Dad, this past week:

Dadum and I have now added the rugby subscription to our tv sports app thing. Had to be done, as MY COUSIN is playing for the Worcester Warriors. 

The family that just moved in across the street are Arsenal fans. We always wear our team jerseys on weekends, and thus we now have an unspoken Football Team War. I'm thinking of buying a Spurs flag to hang in my living room window, which faces their bedroom window. 

In other news, I MIGHT get Gyr back at the end of the week. I also definitely have a lawsuit. The first MRI showed a herniated disc and some other long medical terms that mean my spine is crushing the living daylights out of my sciatic nerve, hence CONSTANT pain shooting from my lower back down to my left knee. The hip joint has been feeling slightly better, but not nearly 100% yet. I go for an MRI of said hip on Friday. 

The orthopaedist was honest with me, which I appreciate. Based on the MRI of my back, the notes sent to him by my physical therapist, and all of the continuing symptoms, it is very likely that this will not get better. The next step as far as pain management will be injections/epidurals to the spine and hip. If that stops working down the road, I might need surgery. 

The one and only upshot to this is that it could potentially mean a fairly large settlement from the other driver's insurance company. I'm not looking for some absurd amount of money, but it would be nice if I could actually pay off all of my debt. 

I don't remember the last time I didn't owe fewer than five figures in debt. Until that is paid off, I will never have any savings. and because I have no money saved, whenever something extremely expensive comes up unexpectedly, I have to charge it to a credit card. I can't even cash in on my tax returns--because I live in NY and work in NJ, come tax return season, I end up owing the State of New York a sum about as much as what I get back from the federal tax return. And I get nothing back from New Jersey. 

I'm grateful at least that I do not own any property, because the mentally ill buffoon currently running the country has now put a cap on how much of your property taxes you can list as a deduction on your tax return. 

The Democrats can't cough up anyone better, so I fear we're going to be stuck with this mess for another four years. Time to rethink our options and elect someone who will REALLY Make America Great Again Russia Instead.

* We do.