Wednesday, January 27, 2016

Some Motivational Books Written by my Mother.










.....Mumsy's actually not as bad anymore. Except for that last one.^

I'm bored at work. I'm getting paid to sit here and eff around on MS Paint. 

I'm thinking of doing the A - Z Challenge this year, but I'm torn between themes: a second round of I'm Going to Complain Now, or Bible Stories as Told by Mich (with MS Paint). What say ye? I'm willing to let y'all vote. 


Monday, January 25, 2016

Is he dead? Good, war's over, steal the rugs.

Happy Monday, friends.


Some things and stuffs:

1. Snow Day
We had a lovely snow day on Saturday.


The only thing that kept my sanity from falling off of the thread upon which it hung was this:

  
(I don't do well trapped indoors for long periods of time with nothing to do.)

But then Lil Bro#1 got out of work early (and I got lots of exercise shoveling Dad's truck out of the driveway so Dad could go get him), and Drummerboy came over for dinner, as he was also going mental stuck indoors all day. (The roads were pretty clean by then, because we don't mess around in Orange County when it snows.) We watched a movie and worked on the puzzle until like midnight.* 

Oddly enough, even though Drummerboy is closer to my parents' age than mine (He's only 5 years younger than Stepmom...) there was no awkwardness. 


2. Sunday.
Drummerboy and I had a nice lunch after church. Then we took a scenic drive up to New Paltz, where I acquired my newest toy from a poor left-handed art student.


 I'm hoping it will be easier than the mandolin, which is my arch-nemesis and will soon be handed over to someone else for it to torment (I sold it on craigslist).


3. I'm getting nerdier by the minute.
I got another new toy today.
I'm not really sure exactly when or how this started, but since around Thanksgiving, we have had a puzzle in progress at all times at both Mumsy's house and Dad's. At Mumsy's, the cats try to *help* by running off with puzzle pieces that are subsequently lost forever. I presume they do this to make the puzzle assembly more exciting. 


4. Ludovico Einaudi's music is really really good and y'all should go listen to it immediately.

 Hope the rest of you in the region survived the snow! I heard there were ice bergs floating down the flooded streets of some part of New Jersey....



















* I know y'all are so jealous of my exciting social life right

Monday, January 18, 2016

Manic Monday

In an effort to post a bit more regularly*, I have stolen Kelly Hashway's Monday Mishmash idea.

I think the basic idea is that you just list some of things that are on your mind. So here goes.

1. My dates went very well. Open mic night was fun. I was unaware that Caffe A La Mode does that every Friday. Saturday I exposed my epic nerdness by taking Drummerboy geocaching. Then we had dinner and went to see that Dad vs. Stepdad movie, which was pretty funny. I installed Spotify on Drummerboy's phone and have been sending him playlists of mostly gothic country music

2. Everything in the office is electrocuting me. Everything. This is a problem. 




THE FREAKING PLANTS ARE EVEN ELECTROCUTING ME. 



3. Westley and the Witches is one of the best pieces of middle grade fiction IN THE WORLD.*** 

And yet somehow, no one has reviewed it yet. Therefore, I have declared that the first person to review it on Amazon or Goodreads will receive a REAL LIFE PRIZE. 
You may also have a free hard copy of the book if you so desire. I will send it to you. You will, however, need to read the first two books as well. I will also send you those if you don't have them. Your prize will be commensurate with the quality of your book review.

4. Triple Town. This game is taking over my life. Like I need a 12 step program at this point. 



That's all I got. Hope y'all are having a good Monday, especially those of you who actually got the day off. 











* because I'm sure you readers are all desperate for me to post more**

*** this may be slightly inaccurate













** sarcasm






Friday, January 15, 2016

THIS WEEKEND - now with photo

I have several dates this weekend. Naturally, I'm already trying to figure out what to wear.


Ruby requested an actual photo, so here it is--a picture of me, after trying on everything I own, deciding to wear one of the same 5 outfits I always wear. 




 We're meeting at a little cafe in Warwick on Friday. It's open mic night and Mike the band leader is performing. It's not really a DATE date, because I think Lil Bro#1 and Stepmom are also going.... Then we'll be hanging out on Saturday, but we don't have solid plans yet as to what we're doing. Possibly also doing something on Sunday.

o.O

Mumsy is mad at me and not speaking to me because I didn't tell her I had a date last weekend. Never mind the fact that I didn't tell ANYONE I had a date and other people just found out by accident, and then Big Sis#2 blabbed to Mumsy on Sunday. I was somewhat shocked to discover that I actually do not care that Mumsy is mad at me. This has never happened before. Years of classical conditioning had previously left me terrified of Mumsy's anger and terrified of not living up to her expectations. Perhaps it's the Zoloft.



Monday, January 11, 2016

How My Dates Went

First and foremost, I have discovered this band:



Give them a listen. Seriously. 


Secondly--Sam Lupin and Tempest, you are just going to have to learn to live with each other because I have no intention of stopping at only two wives.



And now, as I am sure all 558 of you have been positively DYING to hear*, I shall tell you about my dates (yes, DATES) over the weekend. **

Mike the band leader told me to just go for it, so on Saturday after band practice, I asked Drummerboy out. 

A truly enormous amount of xanax was consumed that day. 


while I checked my text messages every 30 seconds

Mike, Drummerboy, and most of the other church band members were playing for open mic night at the Gather Inn, which is a local AA meeting house, so Drummerboy and I had dinner at the Goshen Diner before open mic night started.

Drummerboy is 21 years older than I am (52). He has 2 kids--a 19-year-old who refuses to speak to him (I did not ask why), and a 30-year-old who is currently in prison for drug-related issues. We talked about our similar [horrible] childhoods and our issues with mental health and various addictions. He has been a recovered addict for 20 years. I had to draw a chart on a napkin to explain my immediate family.

Aside from being the drummer for the church band and a couple other bands with Mike, he is an electrical contractor and basically works for himself. (He the first boy with whom I have gone on a date who is gainfully employed, has his own car, has his own home, and just generally has his sh*t together.)

After that we went to open mic night, which was a lot of fun. Lil Bro#2 ended up coming, and he and I and Mike's 6-year-old daughter sat at the fireplace and kept the fire going the whole night because no one else seemed to be assigned to do it.

............I may or may not be singing the above song at an open mic night there in the near future. At that time, we shall find out just how much xanax I can consume before I am rendered unconscious.

On Sunday after church, Drummerboy and I walked into town and had lunch. Then we went on a long and aimless drive and listened to music and talked about ...........I don't even remember. Lots of stuff. We hung out for a total of like 4 hours. 



^Took that along the Upper Delaware Scenic Byway.

So yeah I like him a lot. But I don't want to rush into a relationship (and I don't think he does either). I know myself well enough at this point that I know I need to be friends with someone before I can be anything else. So we'll see how it goes.

How 'bout the rest of you, did y'all have a good weekend?














* sarcasm

** can you you tell I haven't been on a date in like a million years

Wednesday, January 6, 2016

Reasons I'll Never be an Adult


I'm stealing from Hyperbole and Half because honestly I think this applies to almost everyone.

Remember when you were little and you were certain that adults had all the answers, that they always knew what they were doing, and that one glorious day, you too would be gifted with the same Adultness and everything would be perfect? When things got scary or upsetting, I remember I would console myself by thinking that when I became an Adult, things like dentist appointments and having a job wouldn't be scary or difficult. Because Adults don't get scared of root canals or job responsibilities.

It occurred to me around the age of 25 or 26 that I still had not morphed into that mythical Adult. And I never will. Because I still exhibit the same behaviours that frequently got me told off as a child.

Thing like

Dawdling.
I'm pretty sure the only reason Bossman doesn't fire me is because I do the work of 3 people faster than 3 people could actually do it and I can type over 100 words a minute.

I am late to work almost every single day. Not hugely late; usually like 5 minutes or less (I consider that an offense worthy of firing because I am slightly insane and my version of work ethic is more like severe OCD.) Even when I get up early, I'm late. Why? Because I dawdle.

I get distracted by the cats being cute. I get distracted by which earrings I could wear. A good song on my itunes playlist. A good song I can play along with on my bass. A fun bird outside my door. The other cat being cute. What sweater to wear. Which art supplies to bring to work. Oh hey I want to colour right now.

I could wake up 3 hours before I have to be at work. I will still arrive late.


Getting distracted by pets when I should be trying to act like an adult.
We had a church leaders meeting a few weeks ago at a friend's house. While everyone else sat around discussing important stuff, I spent the meeting following Mike's cat around his house and trying to be its friend.


Spending enormous amounts of time and money on utter nonsense.
At any given time, I am on a mission. It might be to acquire a house plant, set a fire in the shape of a bird, obsessively hunt down rare My Little Ponies, stalk David Eugene Edwards, teach birds to imitate R2D2.... you get the idea.

I am currently on a mission to make friends with a crow. Why? Because some girl on the internet did and the crow started bringing her presents.

I just want a crow to hang out with me all the time so I can be cool like Odin.



Fidgeting.
Remember when you were little and your parents smacked you because you couldn't stop fidgeting during Sunday mass? The best thing about being in the church band is that we sneak out the back after the music is done, and no one will notice if I never go back in for the sermon. Our pastor tends to ramble on forever and constantly loses focus and goes off on tangents and rambles on some more and I just can't.


I am a fidgeter. I have been fidgeting since the day I was able to hold up my own head without parental assistance. Only three things can keep me still for more than 30 seconds--eating, reading a good book, and sleeping pills. .........Actually no, that is a lie. I fidget my feet when eating. I fidget my hands and feet while reading. And whilst sleeping I toss and turn like a freaking rotisserie chicken.

I'm fidgeting right now, as I sit at my desk. I spend a good chunk of the workday more or less running in place because I just can't bloody sit still.




In other news.......


He is single. BUT he is also recently divorced. So idk