Thursday, January 23, 2014

and I never ever ever do a thing about the weather, for the weather never ever does a thing for me

So I may be going to Super Bowl....... Not sure yet, I have been offered my uncle's ($5,000.00) ticket and I kind of like the Broncos (duh, because they're from Denver), but I will have to spend the day with my delinquent cousin. (He's nice, he's just..... I think "rowdy" would be the kindest way of putting it...) I shall have to contemplate this further. Y'all may remember how I feel about the Giants and their stadium. Plus it's going to be really fecking cold, and I don't actually enjoy watching football.

Also Super Bowl kind of clashes with the church chili cook-off (my social life is thrilling, as you can probably tell). I have been focusing on making the best chili ever so I can beat Stepmom's chili. So far, two butchers in two different supermarkets think I'm out of my mind because I brought in venison steaks for them to grind up for deer-chili (it could be delicious? we'll find out....). They already thought I was a bit strange because I make them grind sirloin steaks when I need ground beef. I refuse to buy supermarket ground beef; I like to know exactly what goes into the ground meat, thanks.

. . .

You know what really effing sucks? Perioral dermatitis. You know what else really sucks? The fact that there isn't really anything they can do for it. Doc told me to cease and desist all face creams, makeup, soaps, etc.

I can't stop wearing makeup. In order to remain employed, I need to NOT look like a leper, which I means I need makeup to cover the hideous fucking rash on my face. Which means I need to wash my face in the evening, which means my skin gets super dry and flaky and itchy, which means I also need to use mf face cream.


There are hideous red patches around my mouth and nose, on my chin, and now a lovely patch of it right under one of my eyes. And the most effective treatment is to do nothing.

Before anyone else says it first, I DO in fact see the irony in this diagnosis. I guess this is how God punishes those who refuse to go to the doctor.


  1. If you have the opportunity to go to the Super Bowl you HAVE to go because...well...I don't know but you HAVE to go!

  2. A friend of mine had a pretty nasty rash a while ago and there was no treatment or anything. I say look like a leper just once. Or twice. Freak people out. You might even get a free trip to Hawaii to go to a leper colony. Failing that, you could always go to the Superbowl.

    1. I know. People can be so judgmental. Tell them you're coming down with a little case of the plague and they lose their frikkin' minds.

  3. Deer-lasagne is amazing, so deer-chili should also be amazing.

    Reality is a honeybadger. Gah! Maybe during your next holiday? When you can hole up and write for a few weeks without needing to wear makeup?

  4. I was speaking with my brother about the Super Bowl. Since this year will be the closest they ever have it (unless they have it in Philly. Somehow, I doubt the NFL will go for an outdoor stadium in the Northeast anytime soon), it would be kind of a kick to go. Even though I've been a Giants fan (sorry?) ever since they didn't suck for a little while which was after they sucked another time, I would like to see Met Life Stadium. I went to Giants Stadium years ago and froze my giblets off (they grew back). That being said, I wouldn't go to the Super Bowl even if I got free tickets. What a circus that will be and getting there will be a nightmare. Plus, I know you've been outside. I've just gotten used to having my giblets again.

  5. P.S.
    Woah, really? 0.0

    People keep making fun of me for wearing my big red padded suit when it rains because I look like a moron, but that kept me intact. The very least amount of protection I'll wear on my legs is denim. Always have a proper jacket, gloves and a full-face helmet. (I don't care if they call me a pussy, there is a lot of loose shit on our roads and I like my eyes where they are.)

    OMFG YES BIKER-BITCH GANG OF DOOM! When we become best-selling authors we can get custom bikes. Gold dragon-scales with matte black accents for you, definitely. Yes, this needs to be a thing.

      You on a HarleyQuinn-themed custom chopper. With black-and-red leathers and Newrocks.

    THAT IS A PROPER PROBLEM. OH MY GOD. but you know, Mich with any rash is hot bc that's just how it is.
    fucks sake i just realised that you are 29 WHAT KIND OF SORCERY IS THIS YOU ARE SO SMALL AND CUTE AND FUCKS SAKE
    "And the most effective treatment is to do nothing." OBVIOUSLY MICH like i spent 7 years in a med school just to tell you that
    some doctors rlly
    xD omg. yes. the irony. it could write a best seller don't you think?

    -Sam Lupin

  7. I hope the dermatitis clears soon, Mich. That's got to suck terribly.

    Now, onto the SB. Um, all I can say is GO!! I'd be there in a freakin' heartbeat. It's such a fantastic opportunity!!

    Next...I read the link you posted about why you don't like my GMen. (I kind of hate them right now after such a crappy season). I had to laugh! You know us NYers feel like we deserve it all. =) Look at the big fight we had over Ellis Island...ha ha

  8. I dunno, the superbowl would be good and everything. You know, something you'll remember until you die and that. But chili though. Delicious, delicious chili..... xxxx

  9. I've actually always wondered if I could take my own meat into the butchers. I've never had chili before, or deer, but deer chili sounds like a point-scoring combination to say the least.
    Also, I get what you mean about rugby vs football. Australian rules footballers never wear padding either, so American football seems pretty weak to me.
    I hope the dermatitis passes soon. It sounds awful, especially with the best treatment being no treatment. Sigh.

  10. You'll need a delinquent to keep you entertained at a football game. And those best be damn good seats for 5000

    Chili cook off also would be excellent. Shall we presume that your chili will be beanless, with at least 4 different animals cooked into it?

    Fuck that rash. what does the doctor mean by no stuff on your face at all? Was he more specific? What about purely natural unscented stuff? You could try vitmin e oil to stop your skin from drying out, no perfumes or weird stuff in that

  11. You must go to the Super Bowl!!! Must must MUST! My FIL has Giants season tickets and was forced to pay $2500 for a 'seat license' just for the privilege of being a season ticket holder -- but of course that "ownership" does not apply for a non-Giants event like the Super Bowl. (feck you, NFL!) So I don't know how the hell your cousin scored two tix but if you're able to go then GO! If you don't enjoy the game you can live blog your observations as a non-fan, or laugh at all the corporate suits and celebrities bitching about being outside in 30F weather.

    That said, if your dermatitis is going to flare up then you probably shouldn't sit outside in a freezing cold stadium for 4-6 hours (or more) dealing with insane amounts of security and traffic and astronomical markups on parking and food prices, just to watch a game that you don't even really like. And who the hell wants to go to New York anyway?

    lol, I'm kidding. I know the game is in NJ (not sure if you noticed, but i linked that same post you did)

    1. I may have slightly misread that - tis your uncle that has the tickets, yes? And he's giving them to your cousin and (possibly) you? BEST. UNCLE. EVER.

  12. can't you sell the ticket? ( sry!!!!!!!!!!!! Iam such a philistine when i comes to these events...). and - oh! so sorry about the perioral dermatitis i had one once when i thought i would be good to treat the effects of my acne lotion with a cortisone cream... bad idea! i looked like Pennywise the Dancing Clown for a while...
    Stick to not using anything it will be gone after 5 days.

  13. No no no...God's punishing you for not going to the Superbowl. He's obviously a Denver fan... ;-)

  14. Maybe coconut oil? As in the same stuff you can eat? My forehead is greasebucket but ooo my cheeks are so dry and flaky! I often pat a bit of coconut oil on my cheeks before and after my usual moisturizer, just cuz the cheeks need a bit more help. Sometimes to get makeup off i'l rub baby oil into my cheeks before I wash my face. Again it helps ease dryness and the oil loosens the makeup so I don't have to keep the soap on my face as long.


We say whatever we want to whomever we want, at all times.