My body is in open rebellion against me.
....I am about to admit something that causes me enormous amounts of shame btw.
Today, I removed a hair from my breast. With tweezers. A BLACK hair.
This isn't the first time either. I noticed it about a year ago. It always comes back, each time even blacker than before, it seems. There's one on the other breast as well. And one right in the middle of my chest. And the one that has popped up on my right arm for the last several years.
WHAT THE F*CK.
A few months ago, I discovered yet another rogue black hair. But this one was not safely hidden beneath my shirt whilst I am out in public. Oooooh no.
It was on my mothertrucking chin.
I'M GROWING A BEARD.
I should join the circus. At least there, someone might appreciate the other awkward body hair--the one with which I have been at war since I was a small child. It is apparently something that only happens to people who trace their lineage back to the British Isles, because only my relatives (both brothers, one sister, several cousins, and Dadum), and I think another one of you bloggers (I won't mention names) admitted falling victim to this particular awkward hair growth.
Sometimes I'll wake up in the morning, go look in the mirror, and do a horrified double-take when I notice it.
The mutant eyebrow hair that grows six inches overnight.
Let's not even get into the grey hair I removed a few months ago. I'm not saying where it was except that it was not on my head. But STILL this is premature aging. :*O
No sir I don't like it.