Monday, May 7, 2012

Call on God, but row away from the rocks.

A sequel to the last post was planned, but this ramble turned into me complaining for like an hour, so the sequel shall be saved for next time (sorry Kazehana!)..... 

I really should not be allowed near a computer after I've had a few drinks. Last night I deleted a load of people off Facebook and I don't remember who, and I'm pretty sure I labeled a few of them as "close friends" right before deleting them because I thought that the "close friend" button was like a "close window" button that would take me back to the page I was on before.
::epic blonde::

In other news...
Mich is not a happy camper.

To be perfectly honest with you all (because if I'm not, then what's the point of the blog, right?), I've been pretty struggly the last week or two with eating. My family keeps getting hit with one bad-news-bomb after another, and everything in general just seems to get worse and worse, and I think most of you know how that works: when everything else in your life feels chaotic and out of control, the one thing you CAN control is how much you eat.

Or how much you don't eat.

So I've been not eating kind of a lot, except for yesterday when I beasted my way through 2 and a half boxes of girl scout cookies and then got drunk, cried about my cat (I'll get to that in a sec), accidentally sliced my wrist open (it WAS actually an accident--I was cleaning the bowie knife, which turned out to be way sharper than it looked to my double vision), and then I fecked around on the internet, ate more girl scout cookies, and passed out at around 10.00 PM.

Other than that, my Sunday was actually pretty nice compared to the preceding week. My friend C and I drove up to High Point and hiked up to the tower, then tried to go trespassing in Fairy Tale Forest (but they've fenced it off now, so we couldn't), stopped to visit my brothers, picked up the girl scout cookies from Big Sis #2 (-___-), and had a nice dindin with Mum. Idk what happened later....

Yeah so my cat.
After spending over $700 at the vet's (T.T) for kitty to be diagnosed with what the vet already knew suspected she had, I have been medicating her with a cream for her hyperthyroid condition. She definitely has an increase in her appetite, but she seems kind of lethargic, and I've noticed that her heart arrhythmia is in fact pretty bad--like her heart is RACING all the time. The vet said the medication might help that, but he wasn't 100% sure.

Idk if it's the medicine bothering her, or if she's just still pissed that I was away house sitting for ten days, or what, but Callisto has started peeing all over the dining room again.

I know her incontinence is gross, but I love my cat. If I lived alone with my cat, I would probably just keep cleaning up her messes and deal, maybe bring the litter box up to the room in which she is peeing and see if that works, and if it doesn't then whatever. But I don't live alone. I live in Mum's house.

Callisto is now banished to the basement (mostly just when no one's home), which is perfectly understandable. I don't like shutting her down there at night though, so I drag her food and water and a litter box up to my room and shut her in there. When I first did this on Friday, Mum got all bent out of shape about it and started b*tching and accusing me of being mad at her and blah blah blah (because EVERYTHING is totally about YOU all the time, right mommy!?!? >:O) and I slammed my door like an angsty teenager and sliced up both of my legs.

I know that seems like an epic overreaction, but I've seriously been hanging by a thread where the cat is concerned. She's 14 now and having all these health problems and she just seems so weak and frail, and as a result I am constantly TERRIFIED that she's going to die. This means I'm on edge 24/7, which really doesn't help when you add in everything else that's been going on.

Last week, my Cousin C went into the hospital.
Some background--Cousin C was sick for a while, and her doctor kept saying she just had some kind of stomach flu. But any moron could tell you that a stomach flu shouldn't leave you vomiting constantly for several months on end. Eventually the whole not-keeping-food-down for a month left Cousin C in desperate need of medical attention. Cousin C is Anorexic Auntie's daughter. She's 18, has Downs Syndrome, and was not very healthy to begin with because she flat out refuses to eat anything other than this one particular kind of sausage and one specific brand of yogurt.

As if the poor kid's life isn't hard enough, last week she just kept getting sicker and sicker, and ended up in the hospital's ICU, where they proceeded to diagnose her with something different every few hours. On Friday, they came to the conclusion that she must have some kind of infection that they just can't find, so now they're bombarding her with antibiotics hoping they fix it. And the rest of us just get to wait and see if she gets better.

Also on Friday, my Cousin N was rushed to the emergency room. She's been staying out in L.A. and ended up going to hospital a week or so ago for abdominal pain. They told her 'twas just a cyst, nothing to worry about, gave her some pills, and sent her home. A few days later the pain had intensified, so she went back and they did a scan. Lo and behold, there was a fetus attempting to gestate in her ovary.

Now I'm no doctor, but to me that seems like the sort of thing that requires emergency surgery. The docs out in L.A., however, felt it could be handled just fine with medicine similar to Plan B. According to Cousin N, the docs seemed a bit less than fond of her foreign insurance (N hails from England, not the US, and so does her health insurance). They hadn't even wanted to do the scan that ended up confirming the ectopic pregnancy.

When the pills they gave her didn't work (ummm, DUH?), Cousin N collapsed in her apartment on Thursday whilst on the phone with her mother (Loud Auntie), who couldn't do very much about the fact that her sick daughter just stopped talking because Loud Auntie lives in London. Loud Auntie called Mum, Mum alternately called Cousin N and the hospital, and Loud Auntie hopped on the next non-stop flight to LAX to meet Cousin N in the hospital, where the staff were refusing to do the surgery that Cousin N desperately needed because it had not been cleared with Cousin N's health insurance.

I was unaware that we did away with the Hippocratic Oath. 'Tis something you may want to consider when you've got, say, a knife in your chest and a health insurance* plan that your local hospital doesn't like.

Or an ectopic pregnancy that has just resulted in the sepsis of your entire body.

I'm not kidding. Cousin N's ectopic pregnancy had become a massive infection, her system was going septic, and the doctors ACTUALLY REFUSED to do the surgery she needed. Like seriously, Loud Auntie had reached the hospital by then (after an 11+ hour flight) and they were still refusing, but then I doubt any of those doctors have ever encountered anything like one of the Henry Women when they're pissed off and one of their kids is in mortal danger.

 They eventually did the surgery at around 3.00 in the morning on Saturday. Then they kicked Cousin N out of the hospital at 4.30 AM. Apparently even if your lack of good health insurance somehow gets you the treatment you need, that doesn't mean you get a bed. Even after major surgery.

Cousin N's not doing too hot. Loud Auntie is still with her out in L.A., and last I heard, Cousin N can't stand up for more than 30 seconds at a time, and is having trouble remaining conscious for longer than an hour. Cousin C, last we heard is stable, but we're not sure if she's out of the woods yet. 

If you've stuck with this post until now, I would hug you for listening if I was the sort of person who hugged. Instead, I'll give you a virtual pat on the back. 

...when it rains, it pours fire and brimstone.

*If you have no insurance at all, you may as well just yank that hypothetical knife out yourself and use it to dig your own grave.


  1. I'm so very sorry to hear about your cat, your friend and of course your recent eating issues too Mich, here's hoping that things work out well for you and as soon as possible at that. Big hugs from over here in Ireland.

  2. I'm sorry. I stayed through that, and I don't like to touch either, but I feel like you deserve a long pat on the back. That's a lot going on. The hospital in LA infuriates me and I kind of want to call them and just lose it on them. How is that even legal?! All of it, just all of it, is such a stress to you. I'm sorry. No one should have all of that going on at one time. Cuddle Calisto and have another cookie.

  3. I hope you're able to weather the storm of bad luck you've been having.

    Things seem very harsh. I hope your cat gets better and I'm glad your cosin got the surgery she needed (and I'm very glad I live in Canada and have free medical!)

    I hate pats on the back, what about a high five?

  4. I'm with JJ, I'd really like to call that hospital and rip them a new one. What a giant load of bullshit!

    If anyone can weather this storm, it's you, dear one. <3

  5. I'm not into the whole 'sue culture' but in that instant, I would sue their arses. Surely that CANNOT be legal!

    So sorry that you're having a hard time of it. I know you don't do hugs but I'm sending you a virtual one anyway. ((hug))

  6. WHAT THE FUCK. Seriously, I do not find that word classy, but WHAT THE FUCK. What they did is straight up illegal. You CANNOT deny emergency care to an unstable patient based on their ability to pay.

    To file complaints against the doctors: Medical Board of California

    Against the hospital: California Department of Public Health

    Was she at a public hospital or private one? To the best of my knowledge, a public hospital will continue to treat regardless of ability to pay, whereas a private one working within the law would have either performed the surgery or gotten her to a hospital that would.

    Los Angeles public medical centers with emergency services: Because if she is immediately post-op, obtunded, and fucking septic, IT IS A FUCKING EMERGENCY.

    She may also be able to get further information by dialing 211 from within LA.

    I'm sorry, that's just stuff I found on a few Google searches. I wish I could offer something more. Not that the other things aren't worth commenting, just that an ectopic pregnancy is a life-threatening condition. EVERY medical professional knows that. I'm so angry right now I could just plant a tiny bomb in the abdomen of each of that hospital's staff and see if THEY LIKE BEING DENIED TREATMENT AFTER SOMETHING EXPLODES INSIDE OF THEM.. Ugh..

    *Sorry for the language

  7. I did indeed read through it all. A hug would be nice. I am really sorry to hear about your cat. One of mine had a recent health scare. She seems to be better but she still has a sensitive digestive system. She's still quite young though. I can't bear the thought that my cats are going to die one day. Part of hopes my doctor is right and I'll be dead in...8 years now due to my weight, so then I won't see them die. I'm also really sorry to hear about your cousins, especially the one without "proper" health insurance. I'm pretty sure they killed the Hippocratic about the time they started charging for medical care. Though health insurance was the final nail in the coffin. It seems pretty sickening to me really. What's worse is there are people who DON'T want social healthcare, the feckers. I really hope both your kitty and your cousins feel better soon. I'd have taken the cat out of the basement if I were you too. In fact my bedroom now has a bowl for her food and a litter tray. Fuck yeah.

  8. That's absurd they should not deny someone surgery if its an emergency the financial stuff can be worked out later! Best of luck to your cousin

  9. Oh my god! What the fuck?! That is so awful what's been going on.Your poor cousins! Ugh that's so sickening, I could go on for hours about health care in this country...

    And Callisto :[ Poor kitty! I've heard that happening to a lot of cats, always when they get older. It's still sad though, hold on to that poor baby as long as you can and my heart goes out to both of you<3

    and as far as the self-harming thing, it never really goes away. Just remember there's a whole community of girls on here that absolutly adore you <3

  10. Oh, Hon,

    i am so very sorry about all of this...i know how lame that sounds, but i just don't know what else to say.

    i so agree with everyone else, what the hell is going on with that hospital...? That is seriously fucked up. (In situations like this, the perfect word is warrented!). Makes me want to scream and cry and
    beat the walls with my fists....well, evem more than usual....

    Poor kitty...we have one of our pups in similar's so hard.

    Please try not to hurt yourself..."said the pot to the kettle".

    Love you lots and lots!

  11. hmmm methinks Tempest gave some very nice links and someone needs to make life Hell for that evil house of Voldemort that only claims to be a hospital.

  12. I'm sorry to hear that things are going so badly right now. Keeping fingers crossed that things will turn around for you really soon. Love to Callisto. Hang in there, M. :)

  13. I read your later post before this one, and I'm glad things are a bit better. This is awful! The way they treated your cousin, that constitutes malpractice. I think legally they are REQUIRED to treat someone when it is an emergent situation, and deal with the finances later. And the whole kicking her out of the hospital a couple hours after surgery... oh my gosh that's horrible medicine. If anything were to happen to her they'd be held legally responsible. I can't believe hospitals and the health system these days, it's all a business and not about the good of the patient. This makes me so angry, Mich... I'm planning on working in health policy a few years down the line and situations like these just make me worry that the system will be irreparably broken by then and we'll all be a bunch of miserable citizens at the mercy of a mercenary healthcare system. I hope N (and C) gets better soon. I'm really sorry about your cat too. Hang in there! xo

  14. What Tempest said...and also..I sympathize so much with the cat situation.

    When my cat was 13 or 14, she had grown yet another cancerous tumor and the vets told me I could either put her to sleep (cheap) or have her entire arm amputated at the shoulder (expensive) which might give her 5 more years of life.

    Of course I opted for the hella expensive surgery. They were right, it did give her 5 more years and that's about how long it took me to come to terms with the fact that she was like 100 in cat years and I was probably the worst person ever for making an 100yr old lady cat hobble around on 3 legs with only one good eye. *sigh*

    Anyway. I'm hoping your eating situation gets evened out a bit once your routine is reestabilished. It's hard to stay on top of that shit when everything else is out of whack. <3
    You can do it, though.

  15. *Hugs you and Callisto*

    I've been through that a few times, and it never gets any easier. Do your best and IF the time comes to put her to sleep, stay there with her. They panic when you leave them alone in a strange room. They really do just go to sleep and their pain goes away.

    I want to smack Cousin N's "doctors" on the head repeatedly with something heavy and blunt. Say a 13-kg ham. Then perform slow vivisection on them. Ovaries are NOT build for gestation!!! MUNTERS!!!!!!1! FUCKING USELESS DIPSHIT WANKERS! Why the hell did they study medicine if it wasn't to save lives??

    I hope they figure out whats wrong with Cousin C very soon. This is too much for anyone to be able to handle! I completely understand that when you're in the barrel that you resort to whatever coping mechanisms worked best for you. Just don't let them suck you back into staying with them long-term. Coz you're too awesome for that.

    Some good news: I manages to acquire all the rest of the yarn I needed for your blanket. Since Mum is turning 50 next year, your project in #2 on the list after Xenab's blanket sewing-up. Let the knit-a-thon commence!

    Best of luck and all my love to you, Dragon.


  16. Gosh sounds like you've had quite a week! Sorry about the eating - hope it improves! And what are these girl scout cookies you Americans talk about - they sound amazing!
    Really sorry to hear about your cat and both your cousins, but I hope they get better soon! That's awful of the doctors! It's actually crazy!? Even if the insurance doesn't cover it, surely they have some sort of conscience?
    Lottie x


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