Tuesday, January 24, 2012

King illegal forest to pig wild kill in it a is!

I'm not going to b*tch about the football because I know it's a Big Thing, and I also know that as an American disliking football the way that I do, I am in the minority. 

Having grown up watching rugby, I find that I am simply unable to take football seriously. They seem like rather similar sports, except that in football they stop the game every 8 seconds, and they have the players padded up to their eyeballs presumably so they do not get injured. 

. . .

Rugby players do not wear padding. 

But regardless of all that, I am still a Yank and so I will proclaim my allegiance to a football team if pressed to do so. I will support the Eagles, and I get a lot of sh*t from a lot of different people here in the NY/NJ area because of that. So now I shall explain myself. 

I flat out refuse to support either of our "local" teams--the NY Giants or the NY Jets. Why? Here's their stadium:

Why oh why does New York get TWO teams and New Jersey gets NONE, despite the fact that both teams call New Jersey home?!? I find this preposterous and refuse to support such a grievous insult.

Even after explaining this to people, I still get "but WHY the Eagles?!??!"

I used to live in Philadelphia. Specifically, I lived in Philadelphia in 2005 when the Eagles played against the Patriots in the Super Bowl. The Eagles lost. 

I have never seen such madness. CHAOS IN THE STREETS. It was like something out of an apocalyptic movie. The citizens of Philadelphia all LOST THEIR MINDS the minute that game ended, and took their insanity out on their own city. 

That night, I was hanging out at a friend's apartment. He lived on the 3rd floor of his building, and across the street from The Irish Pub on Walnut Street. The Pub was packed, and in the apartments above it, people were having Super Bowl parties, so between the partiers and the pub-goers, we stayed up to date on the game without actually having to watch it (by shouting "what's the score?" out the window every so often). We watched a marathon of all the Alien movies instead, which both Chris and I found much more interesting than football. 

We could generally tell how the game was going by watching the people at the party in the apartment directly across from us, and the people hanging out outside the Pub. It didn't seem to be going all that well. 

When the game ended and we inquired as to the score from the people outside, we did not receive any answers; because it was at that point that everyone had lost their minds. 

From our spot three floors up, Chris and I had an excellent view of the ensuing mayhem. People knocked over street signs and traffic light posts and street lights. They hurled dustbins and newspaper vending machines into the streets. They hurled them at cars. A couple dudes started throwing footballs around, which quickly escalated into a bunch of dudes attempting to bludgeon each other to death with footballs. People were screaming and yelling and swearing and sobbing. 


two complete idiots (or perhaps they were just a bit touched in the head? I mean seriously, every sane person living on the East Coast knows that people in Philly are craycray about their sports) come out of a bar down the street

wearing Patriots jerseys. 

It was like watching one of those nature documentaries, when the lions spot a couple stray hyenas in their territory. 

The two Patriots fans got jumped by nine HUGE dudes. They didn't even get a warning. No foreplay of hostile words were exchanged, as would have been customary under the normal circumstances of drunken sports-related fights. No shouts or jeers from the Eagles fans as a preliminary show of hostility. Nope. The nine guys who attacked were actually that furious. And as far as Chris and I could tell, those nine dudes didn't even know each other. 

Two cops saw the whole thing and attempted to break it up, with nightsticks. 

They gave up after a couple seconds, and one of them radioed for back-up while the other watched the fight and tried to hide his proud smile for his fellow Philadelphians.  

I stayed on Chris' couch that night, as we both agreed that it would probably not be safe for me to walk the 16 blocks back to my apartment alone. The next day, wandering around the city, I saw that it wasn't just the people near Chris' place that had gone mad with grief when the Eagles lost the Super Bowl--every part of the city that I saw was left in chaos. Cars destroyed, windows broken, whole city blocks T.P.'ed, traffic lights and sign posts and street lights laying in the street.... It was nuts. No one from New England was safe in Philadelphia for the next several months. 

And that is why I support the Eagles. I'm not supporting the football team itself really; I support the Eagles' fans. 


  1. God, I'm glad you made it out alive! Good on you for standing by the fans!

    I, too, grew up with rugby. It's bloody brutal! The fans are utter hooligans! The women here are absolutley rugby mad! I, however, am not one of them! I take a lot of flack for being more interested in American baseball! I can't wait for the season to start! I'm going to bribe one of my neighbours to let me watch it via his satellite!

    For obvious reasons, I'm rooting for the Arizona Diamondbacks! If I have to support a football team, it would be the Arizona Cardinals, again for obvious reasons! The uniforms of both are pretty wicked, red and black, what's not to love, right?!

    Nothing like a bit of football drama to bring out the worst in people, eh?! I do so despise that despicable 'human ape' behaviour! So uncivilised! :)

  2. I was in Nice, France the summer of 2005 when France lost the World Cup to Italy. There was a parade of angry drunken Frenchmen in the streets waving the flag high and shouting. But it didn't get as crazy as your story. The French would rather eat and make-out than throw punches I guess.

  3. It's crazy how football obsessed some people can be. You're in a very small minority of Americans who prefer rugby over football to say the least and that's very commendable. I agree the constant stoppage must be extremely irritating, it gets on my nerves whenever I watch American football. The story about the guy wearing the Patriots jersey is hilarious too, it's crazy how riled up some people can get over sport. Saying that I did join in on a carpark protest when my local soccer team lost a supposedly easy game recently so I can't really talk about anybody. Great post as always Mich.

  4. As a former resident of the Garden State, I agree wholeheartedly on the Giants/Jets thing!!

    I went to a Flyers game once with an exboyfriend. He made the mistake of not covering up his Devils t-shirt before we left the stadium.

    According to your flow chart, I should be supporting the Saints! xD

  5. I can relate to not liking your "national" sport! I'm Canadian and I don't care for hockey. But for me if called apon to route for a team I just pick the team closest to were I live. (Vancouver Canuks... they lost to NewYork Rangers once. So screw NewYork.)

    I can't belive people can do stuff like that and sociaty is still okay with sports! If Star Trek or Harry Potter fans pulled that type of thing people would crusify them! Crazy double standard!

  6. I hate football! Rugby is better, they play fair and don't roll around on the ground whining coz they broke a nail! haha! I hate football fans too....they are always so aggressive! xx

  7. Bahaha. Ha. Again, love the pictures. And it's funny, I was just talking to a girl from England about the differences between American football and rugby. We mutually decided that rugby is far more legitimate a sport because of the lack of padding involved. Americans are wusses, apparently. Ah, well. xx

  8. Sounds like the time I accidentally got caught in a riot when The Avs won the cup in 2000, I think.


    Shit was ill. At one point, I slipped and almost went down in a puddle of someone else's blood...and got nonchalantly tear gassed by a cop in riot gear while running frantically through the streets of downtown Denver. I also jumped over a pile of burning...something and witnessed anarchists in matching black outfits and gas masks tipping cop cars end over end while detonating homemade bombs in trash cans and newspaper stands.

    GO AVS! lol

    There are hot boys who play rugby in the park 2 blocks from my house. I will tell them you said hullo. Also, I need you to illustrate my entire life in order for me to find humor and perspective in the bizarrely infuriating things that occur while I'm at work.

  9. Bloody hell, and I thought people HERE went nuts over sporting events! Gridiron and Soccer fans have it down to a fine art. Good on him for offering his couch! That sounded like a terrifying thing to witness. People can be such idiots!

    I agree, having grown up with rugby I simply can't take American Football seriously. Massive butch exchange students at uni, quite proudly state their sporting affiliation back home, and I can't help but laugh.

    Contrast Gridiron's layers of padding and HELMETS (Helmets? You kidding me?) to my 9 y/o playing many times in an inch-thick frost or up to his ankles in mud and being out for weeks while his hand healed from a pretty nasty rucking. (Thankfully no bones were broken that time)

    Hope you're having a good week. Take care, ok?


  10. Hilarious post. I love your drawings, and your sense of humor! I'm from Jersey too, though I like the Titans better than any local team (don't ask). Your logic for supporting the Eagles makes sense to me though - my Eagles fan friends are so enthusiastic about it too. :D


  11. I'm not a Yank, so I don't care. I'm living in the States, but won't watch their football just to fit in, because I really don't care enough to bother. But when rugby season starts, I'll start blogging about it and the Yanks won't know what I'm talking about. I love your cartoons!

  12. Rugby > football. I don't care if this is America.

  13. It seems a lot of women prefer Rugby. Is it too late for me to become a Rugby player?

  14. I don't really watch sports anyways. Unless Starcraft livestreams count.

    Also, I tried your brownies. Expect a post about them in the near future. :)

  15. LOLOLOL @ the title!

    my cousin was in philly that year and he said he saw the same thing. i wish i had been there!!

  16. I once knew a girl who played rugby. She was damn hot....and straight. Sigh. I hear hints that she considers herself bi now....wonder if she's still hot and if I could find her? *slaps self for objectifying a woman*
    I'm not a sports type either. Just don't care. When pressed I'll claim to support whatever is local, or whoever the person bugging me supports.
    I am a Buffy fan, and football reminds me a line Giles said about how amusing it was that a nation which prided itself on its virility would strap on so many lbs of protective gear just in order to play rugby.

  17. According to your flowchart, I should be a New England Fan. Well, you hit that one right on! I am a New Englander who would rather be watching Jacoby Elsbury play baseball all year long.

    But, "Go, Pats!" anyway...it's such fun hearing the announcers say "Gronkowski"!

    xoxoxo, cd

  18. I actually like football, but you know what I can't stand, as a Denver Broncos fan? Hearing about Tim Tebow. People would not. stop. talking about him all damn year. Tim Tebow this. Tim Tebow that. I do not care. I just want to watch the game and leave it at that.

  19. Annnnnnd, speaking of Tim Tebow, have you seen the SNL skit about him? i admire his faith, that's fine and all that, but the skit is hilarious. i want Jesus to be like that!

  20. I'm really enjoying your new picture on the logo! But why is it only on one side?!

  21. Replies
    1. Yes. That is a flowchart.

  22. Please click on my name and tell me if it takes you to my blog profile and displays my blog properly. Thanks love. P.S. I love the new pics at the top, the cardinal is the cutest! :)

  23. Thank for the supportive words. Apparently my parents thought I was looking for a therapist. I don't have the time so if worse comes to worse I will go to the counselors on campus and I'm sure they can recommend someone if needed.

    I'm the same way about football. I only pay attention when University of Texas at Austin is playing, and only if it's an important game. I'm from Austin,Texas so I feel an alligence. I understand why u would pick the eagles, I have a friend that goes to A&M and she dar not say she's for another team for fear of her safety. I know it's only college football but they are pretty ubber intense. Though my favorite part of your story was how y'all were just chilling watching alien movies and still knew what was happening. Also awsome that your friend lives across froma pub!

  24. It cut me off....

    Sorry to hear about your friend, it must be hard to be in separate places but I'm glad he's trying to clean himself up...even if it's because he's hit bottom. Hope y'all will be able to get together again.


  25. I used to love football. But then sometime around 2003 everyone in America decided that football is THE GREATEST THING EVER and ESPN stopped showing highlights of all the other sports in favor of a roundtable discussion on things like "How Tom Brady's supermodel wife might react if a 400-lb lineman were to fall on his groin" and that's when I started to hate ESPN and resent football... especially because I cant stop watching it! There is NOTHING else on because no one dares to compete with THE GREATEST THING EVER. Damn you NFL!

    Also i'm the kind of person who detests trends, so my level of interest in a given sport is a direct inverse of the general public's level of interest in it. What i'm trying to say is, football is stupid (New York Giants, my ass. damn right, New JERSEY!) and hockey is awesome. To that end, I hope you corrected Kazehana on her Stanley Cup history. The Avs won in *2001*, against the 2000 Cup champion Devils. That one sucked hard. I just started rooting for the Devils then--and not because I was a front runner, but b/c thats when I met my wife.

    Anyway. I'm rambling. All I'll say is this: the Eagles, Mich? Really? Ugh!


We say whatever we want to whomever we want, at all times.