Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Time heals the wound, but then there's still a scar.

I apologize for my absence. I've been in a funk. Again. 

Pogo inquired about one of the things on my wall from the hoarding page. Here's a better shot of it:

Acrylic on a 4' x 3' canvas. I painted that my senior year in high school. And creepily enough, I started it on the night of September 10, 2001. The painting itself continues to horrify my mother, which is why it hangs behind my bedroom door, so she can't see it if she needs to go in my room. 

I have twice been offered large sums of money for that painting, which mostly confuses me because I don't think it's all that special.  I still can't part with it though...

My forays into the fine arts are few and far between. Even the enforced art I had to endure my first year in college (media arts majors had to do the same foundation courses as everyone else, although the school has since changed those requirements...). Most of my work was absolute crap, but occasionally I produced something that gave my professors orgasms. 

The best ever was the 6-foot tower of army men, all of them symmetrically arranged and hot-glued together. It was on display in the school's gallery until a senior sculpture major "accidentally" knocked it over and destroyed it. 

2nd runner up was this:

We had to choose any album cover and create a model of it, to scale but twice the size of a CD case. I was one of only 2 students in a section of about 40 kids who chose a classic rock album. (That's Led Zeppelin's Houses of the Holy, if you can't tell). My prof made a spectacle of me in front of my peers when the project was finished, and I was not amused (I'm not big on being the center of attention). I was even less amused when my masterpiece vanished from the display case. Apparently it was making the rounds in different professors' offices. Eventually I managed to steal it back from one of the graphic design offices.

This project is Mum's fav:
I call it "The Tree". Or, "How to Finish an Assignment in 3D Design Without Actually Doing Any Work."

When my 3d Design prof started us in the wood shop, I flat out refused to use any of the saw and sanders and other deadly machines. I'm really not fond of power tools, especially things with large moving blades. But alas, Prof told me that in order to pass that particular "mixed media" assignment, I MUST use wood as well as stone and wire. 

So I dug that little triangular piece of wood out of the scrap pile, slapped it on my rock with some hot glue, and wrapped a wire hanger around the whole thing to make a tree. I used much thinner wire that I got in a jewelry-making shop to make leaves and things. As much as Prof hated me at that point, he had to admit that he adored The Tree. 

Why did Prof hate me? This project:

That was the first wood shop assignment--we had to make an animal that was in some way mechanical, with lots of moving parts. I decided to do a dog/wolf/?? thing on wheels, because it seemed easiest. 

Except me "making" that consisted of me first asking Prof to please show me how to work each and every machine in the wood shop, then giving him instructions on how I wanted the pieces of wood cut, then making him sand all of them, and then him "showing me" how to drill holes in them, which resulted in me only having to put the pieces together at the end. Prof pretty much did the entire thing. 

And somehow I still got an A. 


I shall hopefully catch up on commenters this week, but I'm not promising anything in the way of haste. 


  1. DOOOD those twins are fucking sick!!! And I mean that in the best possible way. Hw much were you offered before? Cuz I'll double it. I'll triple it if you throw in the Houses of the Holy, because that is possibly the greatest college art project I've ever seen.

    And I feel so special, you poste that just for me! ;)

  2. I was in a 3-d art class and it kicked my ass. Unlike you none of what I create ever gives any orgasims, it just produces tears of pitty and saddness.


  3. There's something sci-fi-ish about it but I can't put my finger on it. Maybe the lack of detail and flat tone? ah who cares- I like it! :)
    I'm really excited you're going to make my baked donuts! I know you'll like them- I ate 3 of the baby cakes from that recipe for breakfast they're so good. The only pointer I forgot to mention was spray the damn pan, they were a bitch to get out!
    All the best xxx

  4. May I post that beautiful painting on tumblr? Much love doll, POST MORE. :D Going crazy without those movie quote posts

  5. wow... that kickass mesmerizing painting is totally your creation?!?!?! DUDE! YOU ROCK!

    Seriously... never give that up. or at least don't feel forced to give it up. original paintings that capture minds are pretty rare. I can see why you're offered lots of money.
    But don't sell it unless you really want to.

    if I was capable of creating such awesomeness, i wouldn't want to sell it either.
    At least with a book, you get to keep the original always.
    With a painting, the original is what tends to be sold first! Then some jerk gets a picture and makes copies and basically leeches off your hard work!
    (and is it weird that a part of me is thinking Samantha Ronson would also find that painting fascinating? She posted a few pics of her kidrobot collection back in the day, and she's into the weird visuals. she's also a twin, so she'd love it on that level too. and the Led Zeppelin, she has their vintage tshirts.)

  6. Sorry to hear about your funk Michelle. Quite often I feel the same thing so I know that feeling, great post as always however and you're right about the wounds! Saying that, my appendix burst in February and was absolute agony for months but now I tend to forget anything even happened down there despite the scar. The point I'm making is that the wound hurts way more than the scar could ever so while a scar might be there it's better than the wound, does that make sense? I don't think it does actually so I'm real sorry! :P

  7. Hope your ok :( Those pieces of art work are fantastic! So unique :) xxx

  8. Worryingly my first though when I saw them was aww they aren't smiling - they need a hug! I think they are quite cute in a scary way :) they are super good either was though!
    I wish there was 3D art at my school!
    I argee with your mum - the tree is amazing :)
    Lottie x

  9. Loving the artwork, lady. The painting freaks me out a bit, but it is really cool. Your wooden wolf thing reminds me of the trojan horse - except with a dash of monty-python-style trojan bunny thrown in for style :)

  10. i love, love the painting...very cool indeed!

    So sorry you are down, if "misery loves company", i am there too. Boo.

    We'll be better soon, yes?

    Much Love, tracy

  11. You have such amazing talent! WOW I can see why people have offered you money for the twins painting its amazing.

  12. That painting is awesome! Its so dark yet- I don't know! I can't put in to words how it makes me feel! Which just makes it better!

    (I think your professer had a thing for you! Cute girls are always able to get away with not working much and still get A's!)

  13. I immediately saw that it was "Houses Of The Holy" (the Barbie bent in the very unnatural direction gave it away to me.) I think that album cover would qualify as kiddie porn now and land someone in jail. I'm just sayin'.

  14. Ok couple of things. First off, I LOVE your 3D tree. That's fantastic. Also, your wood lion/horse if pretty awesome as well. I like how it really makes you think... :) And the painting is pretty freaky, but in a really great way. I like it. You're a very talented lady.

  15. No offense, but what school are you going to? If they're drooling over your complete ignorance of anatomy, proportion, or the basic principles of art & design, it must be kind of a shitty school.

  16. Oh anonymous I'm sorry, you must really suck at whatever stick-up-the-ass "art" school you're in. :*( Don't worry, you'll find your own personal style eventually!
    And if not : good luck working in McDonald's the rest of your life!

  17. CHILDREN PLEASE let's try and be nice.

  18. we should team up and start an art therapy clinic where we treat everyone with multimedia art projects and extensive cuddle times with cats.

  19. hey anonymous! fuck off and do your trolling somewhere else. you are outnumbered here by a longshot ;) <3 x x x

    but yeah! i did art until gcse and i miss it so much! for christmas, i am asking for paints and materials so i can take it up again - its too expensive to buy it myself! x x x


We say whatever we want to whomever we want, at all times.