Friday, October 21, 2011

Torch the dresser, Meatwad.

Hasidic Plumber, I know you were very upset that you were not included in that picture, so here's a nice picture for you:

I actually ate like a normal(ish) person this week! Still staying under 1200 calories, but it's a small improvement over the previous few weeks. It helps to get excited about my meals. The bento boxes help.

 I have a new exercise plan as well, that I am going to try very hard to stick to. If I want to retain the use of my legs, I think this is necessary, as I now need the knee braces every time I work out. New plan:
- cardio 4 or 5 days a week (1 hr on elliptical, sometimes up to 30 mins on bike)
- toning/weights/possibly pilates-type stuff 2 or 3 days a week (30 mins; focusing on arms, thighs, and tumtum)
- one day of rest

And some rules:
- Hiking counts as cardio (so no hiking on the Day of Rest; I must actually not work out)
- jogging and power-walking outside also count as cardio
- No intense starvation on toning days
- No toning AND cardio unless both are cut down by at least half (i.e, 30 mins on elliptical and 15 mins toning)
- If I feel that a complete nervous collapse is imminent, toning may be done on the day of rest

I know how I operate, so every last ounce of my willpower shall now be devoted to NOT doing both the hour of cardio and 30 mins of toning 7 days a week.

I decorated the office for Halloween this week. Nothing hardcore, just a couple small things:
That's the table right when you come in.
I have a cute little snowglobe on my desk, too:

 I had one other thing for my desk, but when Bossman came in and saw it he took it away. (::gasp:: "OOooooo!!!" ::grab & run::)
Now it's on his desk.
Apparently Boss is a big Hellraiser fan. 
Despite my initial dislike of Bossman when I first started this job, we get along pretty well now. I guess it just took him a while to warm up to me? The secretary he had before me was  really awful at her job and only worked here for a couple months, and the one before her was apparently super awesome and worked here for like 4 years; so I guess it's not too surprising that Bossman was wary of the next new secretary.

Since we settled into the new office at the end of the summer, Boss has toyed with the idea of hiring an associate (or "lackey", as Boss says), like someone fresh out of law school to handle to smaller stuff like the traffic violations and whatnot. I'm not too keen on this idea, as Boss said I would more or less be in charge of the lackey when he's not here.

I don't like being in a position of bossing other people around. I hated that when I worked for Supreme Evil Bossette--I was the one in charge of all the interns and I didn't like it at all. And when I worked for this contractor a few years ago, I was declared "office manager" and given authority over the receptionist and the bookkeeper.

No sir, I don't like it. Because being someone's boss means you have extra responsibilities. Not cool. I had no problem lording my authority over small children when I was a nanny, but it's different with other adults. Plus I don't want to be hated on the same level that I have hated previous bosses.

I think everyone's had an awful boss at some point. That's just the way life is. I was thinking about that yesterday on the way home from work. I went a different way home because I had to stop at the hardware store to get a part for the upstairs loo (I fixed the toilet in under 5 minutes without any kind of experience or instructions--go me!). I passed by one of my old workplaces and saw that it's no longer there. (I had thought she had either moved or shut down a while ago, but I hadn't gotten a proper look until yesterday).

Felicia Fartblower, as we called her behind her back, ran a little shop where children could have their birthday parties and make little art & craft projects.
Felicia -__-
I think she did after school art classes, too. And when I worked there the summer after freshman year of college, she had a summer art camp. One of my friends found her and got us jobs there, and thus began a giant suckfest.

Felicia was a b*tch. A big one (literally and figuratively). But it was an art-related job, and since I was an art student, I thought it would be better than nannying all summer. Felicia hired us and said that she would train us the first week and would not pay for training, but after that she would pay us $10/hour off the books. So we said ok. I worked long and hard for Felicia Fartblower--sometimes working 10+ hour days. But my job rarely entailed anything art-related. Instead:

 By the end of the month or so that I worked there, I'm pretty sure Felicia Fartblower's 5-month old son was under the impression that I was his mother. It started out as just "oh do you think you could watch him for a sec while I run back to the store and move some art supplies?" At the end, I was running errands for Felicia while also carting that kid around and taking care of him for up to 12 hours some days (and the kid was adorable and very well-behaved considering his mommy was a psycho and he was spending several hours a day in the car). Felicia never even stopped to check if I knew how to take care of a baby.

My friends were working in the actual shop and doing art-things, I think. Oh and throughout all of this, none of us were getting paid. The "week of training" stretched out into like a month, and none of us were paid a dime.

Eventually, all three of us quit. I don't know if my friends ever tried to get money out of Felicia Fartblower, but I was not leaving without a paycheck for the month's worth of babysitting I had done. I harassed Felicia for a while, calling her daily and leaving messages, and she ignored me before eventually telling me that no, she was not going to pay me.

Oh really? You raging b*tch. I don't think so.

So I contacted the IRS.

Not only did Felicia Fartblower get in major doodoo for the off-the-books workers and the non-payment to said workers, she was also audited. Thoroughly.

And at the end of the summer, I got a check from her for a grand total of $65.00. I swear I could actually feel the hatred coming off of the check in waves.


  1. I love all your drawings, you're so artistic, haha. Was that sushi you were eating? I'm yet to try that...

  2. I really understand what you mean. I've been a supervisor at the shop I work at for nearly 5 months now. Really starting to regret ever taking the position in the first place. I just found out that a lot of the people that congratulated me on getting it in the first place, resented my promotion behind my back. Think paranoia might add to my list of anxieties next time I have to step back into the building.

    Love your decorations! Are you doing anything exciting for Halloween?

    Congratulations too, you're doing so well.
    Lots of love xxxx

  3. Sounds like a great routine to me. Keep up with the good work and you'll get your rewards. I also love your drawings, especially the first one with Plumber included. I'd be surprised if he didn't decide to dress up as a raccoon for Halloween!

  4. Mich, I'm not up to speed on your blog yet so I don't know the history behind the knee braces. Is there a post I can read that explains it?
    Felicia Fartblower is definately a cunt. I hope the IRS put a lien on her house and another one on the kid.

    The Hasidic Plumber (I call him the Rabbi and I love those feckin' earlocks of his) is going to freak out when he see's that raccoon. And thanks for putting my blog up on your blogroll.

  5. Thank you for your lovely comment. I love your bento box!

    Demon bosses are the worst! My last boss was one of those. Made us work like mofo's for feckall! I'm glad you got all over Felicia and made her pay. That bitch!

    The Halloween decor looks wicked! Love it! :)

  6. Your bento box is so cute! I like you're new plan- I'm hope you do really well with it! This morning I had made my mind up to alternate cardio/strength days as well. It's good to preserve energy and put 100% into what you do instead of using all of your energy on cardio and then crapping out when doing toning. -__- I like the dragonesque candle thing on the desk! I'm like you in the sense I'm not to keen on being a boss. Sure, a small bit of authority is nice, but when there's tons of responsibility and the pressure is all on you- not cool! Fartblower is a real b*itch and just know, she WILL get what's coming to her some day!

  7. Your new plan definitly sounds like a winner and YOU NEED A DAY OFF GIRL!!! That job sounded like a total nightmare, but I'm glad you called the IRS on her, as karma is only a bitch if you are :] She definitly had that coming. That's so sad you nly got $65 dollars out of it-how the hell did she figure that?!

  8. I'm glad you called the IRS! People like that make me sick!

    I like the picture with the Plumber in it! It was quite good!

  9. Oh my god - I actually feel a little enraged on your behalf reading about your experience with that unjust fat b*tch. I hope she at least got a few fines or something for her underhanded business practices. Grrr.

  10. speaking as a fellow vitamin taker, lol, your new exercise plan sounds quite reasonable! I'm really hoping this new chapter of 'as close to normal as possible' sticks... cos i don't want you to lose your legs!

    wow. Felicia. Wow.

  11. The fact that you called the IRS and she got audited makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Though it sucks you only got a measly $65 bucks for a month of nanny-ing.

  12. Those bento boxes are amazing! I need to look into getting some of my own.

  13. I'm super jealous of your bento boxes, I never got that one panda one I wanted T.T good luck with your plan!

  14. $65 ?!!????


    You shoulda went totally There Will Be Blood on that bitch.

    Drank her milkshake right up. lol

  15. Good on you for calling the IRS! But $65?!! As much as I love the name, Felicia Fartblower isn't bad enough to describe her!

  16. I am beginning to wonder how much time you devote to blogger. You get so many comments, you draw awesome pictures, you take time to comment on your followers' posts, and you post frequently. It's definitely amazing!

    Anywho, I get the whole not wanting to be in charge thing, but don't you hate other people telling you what, when, and how to do your own job? One person doing that is bad enough in my opinion.

    Good for you for calling the IRS on that lady. I don't think I would have had the balls to do that. I am surprised thought, like everyone and their dog apparently, that you only ended up receiving $65. I suppose though that that is the risk you take when you get paid off the books. And that sucks about not even getting to do art-related things. To think you were done with nannying only to get stuck babysitting.


  17. So glad to hear you're doing better :)
    ewww evil bosses suck :/ I'm so glad I have a good boss. But I also work at a resteraunt, not a professional job.
    Hope your weekend is going well!

  18. i love Hasidic Plumber's racoon costume and yours as well....great pic! Love it!

    That horrible Lady (Lady??????) deserved even more than what you did, but i an so glad you took action! Your pic with baby is so great!

    Your new plan is inspiring....unfortunately, my 1/2 price ellip has the "clanks"....again....shows what a "bargin" it was....sighs.

    Thank you for your wonderful comments and suggestions on my blob....


  19. Hey Mich, I found your other comments, published them and replied. We're Irish and together we could rule the feckin' blogosphere.

  20. I love your bento boxes! I have a little baby one that I bought in Paris when the Bon Marche was having this special collection of imported Japanese in the store. So glad that you had a good, "normal person," week... it's nice to have one every once in a while, eh?

  21. You know, those food boxes look really cute. :)

    I'm happy you're doing this for your body; health is really important. :)

  22. those little lunchboxes are awesome! i also have a mini mouse one and a finding nemo one. i am going to start using them because now it is so cold, i need to eat more substantial meals - in the summer i could make up my calories just using crisps and chocolate bars but now i might need to pack little hot vegetable things and sushi pieces.

    the fartblower looks and sounds like a bitch. i have all of this to look forwards to once i graduate at the end of this academic year!

    x x x x

  23. Waaa that's the Tanooki suit!!! I remember that! It was my fav suit so ofc it was the hardest to get!

    Ok I stop geeking out on you now.

    Bravo on calling the IRS on her! I think someone needs to call the IRS on lindsay lohan! How many freebies has she swindled out of people?

    I think your plan is a good one. I like my legs too. And as much as you like hiking, yea keeping the legs is good. Walking in knee braces is hard.
    Love the bento boxes! So cute! I need to use my bento bag too. Bentos are good.. using them is good idea. Good on you!

  24. What a dope! What did she expect you to do, just walk away and say "Thank you for treating me like shit?" I would have dropped a dime on her, too.


We say whatever we want to whomever we want, at all times.