Sunday, February 28, 2010

Yes, I Know It's Wrong.


And I know I probably should seek professional help. Instead, I shall seek my own help via a diary on the internet, in the hopes that it will generate hate mail and thus entertain me at work.

Up until just before Thanksgiving, I had managed to live on under 500 calories a day, exercised daily until nearly passing out, and made it all the way down to 98 pounds. Then the Christmas season rolls around, and all my will power evaporates into a hurricane of sugar and calories and junk and buttery fat. Now, two months after the holidays have ended, I am out of pharmaceuticals to aid in exercising for 90 minutes a day, and weigh a whopping 115 pounds. DISGUSTING.

I need somewhere I can vent, and vent honestly. The mega-diet is back in full swing: basically, no more food. I need to weigh 90 pounds by summer.

So far today, I ate: 1 bowl cereal (150 cals), 1 Special K bar (90), 1 cup coffee with half & half (20), and a South Beach fiber bar (120). That's a total of 380. If I'm a good little girl, I'll have a 120 cal dinner.